Ninjago Vines
by dashergirl
Summary: The ninja decide to make vines during their free time.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

Sensei Wu: Okay students lets talk about a failure that happen in your life.

Lloyd: It all started when I was born.

Sensei Wu: Let's talk about success students.

* * *

Neuro: You know, I can read minds.

Jay: Really?

Neuro: I'll show you *reads Jay's mind*

Jay: (AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!)

Neuro: OMG!

Jay: Yeah, I got a lot going on. (AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!)

* * *

Kai: Welcome to dating advice with Kai. Jay, what's you question?

Jay: How can you tell if a girl likes you?

Kai: She doesn't!

* * *

Nya: *looks at Cole and Zane*

Cole: You know I love you, right.

Zane: I love you too.

Nya: All the hot guys are either taken or gay.

Jay: I AM RIGHT HERE!

* * *

Morro: And then I slit her throat. HA HA HA!

Kai: Oh damn!

Jay: What the hell!?

Zane: Ha ha ha...

Lloyd: *calls 911*

* * *

Nya: Can't believe they think they're the cuter couple.

Lloyd: We'll show them.

Jay: We're totally cuter.

Kai: Oh yeah.

Lloyd and Kai: Do you think your cuter then us?

Jay and Nya: Yup.

Lloyd and Kai: NO WAY!

Jay and Nya: We're cuter!

* * *

Cole: Change your shirt.

Kai: Bro. First of all I look good in this shirt. Second of all I look good in this shirt. And third of all I look good in this shirt. So tell me good I don't-

* * *

Kai: Selfie.*takes a selfie and sees the Overlord behind him with a sword* AH! YOU RUINED MY SELFIE! *grabs the Overlord's sword and kills him* YOU STUPID ANMIMAL!

* * *

Lloyd: I love watching the waves.

Morro: I'm in love with you Lloyd.

Lloyd: AAHHH! *runs away but Morro tackles him*

* * *

Jay: Okay, I'll met you there in a sec. Oh, hey babe.

Nya and Cole: Yeah?

Jay: ... Nevermind.

Cole: Sure thing.

* * *

Skylor: This is fun.

Kai: You know we can have more fun upstairs in my bed.

Ten minutes later they're playing Super Mario

Skylor: Your so right.

Kai: Yup

* * *

Jay: Cole you'll be alri-

Cole: Touch me again and I'll kill you and your fucking family.

Jay: Alright.

* * *

Kai: What the hell happen to my car?! Like a good neighbor State Farm is there. *Cole appears* Hey State Farm guy help me out.

Cole: Damn! You better call Allstate.

* * *

Jay: TAKE ME INTO YOU FUCKING ARMS!

Nya: ...

* * *

Jay: Look, Survivors.

Nya: *looks at Cole* He's kinda cute.

Jay: ... *shoots Cole with a gun* Whoops!

* * *

Cole: Kai, you didn't pay the fucking power bill!

Lloyd: *plays the guitar* When your lights don't work like they used to before.

Cole: Lloyd, shut the fuck up!


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Movie version

Misako: Now say something nice to your son.

Garmadon: Son your the best.

Lloyd: Thank you dad-

Garmadon: Daughter I ever had. Your such a little bitch.

Lloyd: He always does this!

Garmadon: Your such a liar!

Misako: Guys, bring it down.

* * *

Nya: Jay.

Jay: Yeah babe.

Nya: Do you want kids?

Jay: Duh FFFUUUUU-

* * *

Zane: Somebody just ask me what Barack Obama last name is. . . . LIKE AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT!?

* * *

Garmadon: Do you see me? Do you see me?

Baby Lloyd: (Of course I do. What can of question-)

Garmadon: *cover his eyes with his hands*

Baby Lloyd: (And he left?)

Garmadon: *removes his hands from his eyes* Boo!

Baby Lloyd: (Ah!)

* * *

Movie version

Cheerleader: Oh my god, it's Cole. He is so cool. Hi Cole.

Cole: Racism is bad.

Cheerleaders: *gasps and faints*

* * *

Zane: It was nice to meet you.

Echo Zane: It was great to meet you.

Zane: ... It was wonderful to meet you.

Echo Zane: Fantastic meeting you.

Zane: It was a fucking pleasure meeting you, you little bitch!

* * *

Misako: Garmadon, I'm pregnant.

Garmadon: ...

Misako: I can explain.

* * *

Possessed Lloyd: *searching for something in the training room*

Kai: What you doing buddy?

Possessed Lloyd: *still searching for something in the training room*

Kai: So your not going to talk to me, huh?

Possessed Lloyd: *pulls out a sword* Perfect!

Kai: *starts running*

* * *

Kai: Hey guys, I just want to introduces you to my sister.

Nya: Hi.

Kai: *pushes her to a pool* NO ONE CARES!

* * *

Young Lloyd: Kai, is that a weed?

Kai: *hold up a crayon* No, this is a crayon.

Young Lloyd: I'm calling the police! *uses the microwave*

microwave: 911, what's your emergency?

* * *

During season 6

Jay: Someone, please help!

Clancee: Hey.

Jay: Oh thank The First Spinjitzu Master.

Clancee: I'm a vegan. *walks away*

* * *

Kai: Yeah, so she broke up with me.

Lloyd: Why are you looking up?

Kai: I need to cry but my foundation was forty eight dollars!

* * *

Sensei: You two have to share this. *puts a piece of cake on the table*

Cole: So you want to split it in half or-

Young Lloyd: *takes the cake and runs away*

Cole: Hey!

* * *

Cole: Don't look now, but the guy behind you is picking his nose.

Jay: You mean that guy!? *points to Master Chen* Him!?

Cole: *facepalm*

Jay: *climbs onto of Master Chen* THIS GUY RIGHT HERE!?

* * *

Zane: Your word is annoying.

Jay: Can you use that in a sentence?

Zane: You stupid, annoying, cheating, stupid mother fucking ass bitch!

Jay: ... That's a little too much swearing for this vine, Zane.

* * *

Jay: Hey First Spinjitzu Master, if your real give me a joke.

First Spinjitzu Master: I gave you your life, didn't I?

Jay: ... Fair enough.


	3. Chapter 3

**What happen to you, Zane?**

 **Zane: I had a virus in me during our vines.**

 **Jay: And I fix him.**

 **Okay, I understand that but what happen to Zane's legs.**

 **Jay: He'll be in a wheelchair for only one chapter until I get more parts.**

 **Zane: Let's just I got injured in a deadly battle.** **If I didn't got beat up, I'll just walk out of this room.**

 **I don't need to know more.**

 **Kai: I love all theses review.**

 **Me too. I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy :D**

* * *

Ray: Now kids, be sure you eat those vegetables, so you grow up big and strong.

Young Kai: But what about you?

Ray: Me, I hate broccoli. I'm not going to do that stuff.

* * *

Expectation of being adult

Kai: I'm a adult

Cole: I do grow up things

Zane: Independents

Reality

Lloyd: Mommy, what are taxes?

* * *

Kai: *runs through the forest and sees his dad* Dad?

Ray:. ...

Kai: Is this where you been for the past ten years?

Ray: *floats away*

Kai: DAD, NO!

* * *

Jay: What's wrong, Lloyd and Nelson?

Young Lloyd: We don't know what we want to be when we grow up.

Jay: That's okay. You know, I still don't know what I want to be. Ha ha ha.

Young Lloyd, Nelson, and Jay: *crying*

* * *

Jay: Who's cooking the food for Thanksgiving?

Cole: I am.

Jay: No serious, who's cooking?

Cole: I'm serious. I'm making it right now.

Jay: HELL NO! STOP!

Cole: NO! YOUR GOING TO EAT THIS!

* * *

Pixel: You guys are such good friends.

Lloyd and Kai: *holding hands* No.

...

Lloyd: *hands Kai a bouquet of roses*

Cole: A bouquet for your best bud.

Lloyd: No!

...

Kai: *kneels down and holds Lloyd's hand* Will you become my-

Nya: Best friend forever?

Kai and Lloyd: NO!

* * *

Sensei Wu: *finds out they're late for a party* FUCK! WE'RE FOUR HOURS LATE FOR THIS FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER BULL CRAP! *bangs on Nya's room* NYA, WAKE UP! WE'RE LEAVING IN NEGITIVE SIX MINUTES! WAKE UP YOUR FUCKING TEAMMATE'S AND BROTHER!

* * *

 _During the end of season three at Zane's funeral_

Jay: WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM FROM US!? ZANE IS DEAD!

Pixel: No, Zane's alive.

Jay: ZANE IS DEAD! LOOK AT HIM! *points at a picture of Zane*

Cole: He's not dead

* * *

Jay: Life's a box of chocolates. You never know what your going to get.

Zane: Your going to get chocolate.

Jay: No.

Zane: Box of chocolate.

Jay: No.

* * *

Movie au

Misako: Why did your teacher call me on my phone?

Lloyd: I don't know? Did you answer it?

Misako: Yeah.

Lloyd: So that means they told you.

Misako: Do be getting smart on me!

Lloyd: I just answer you question!

* * *

Jay: Hey Cole, we're friends, right?

Cole: Yeah, of course man.

Jay: Yeah.

Cole: Yeah!

Jay: Yeah!

Cole: YEAH!

Jay: **YEAH!**

Cole: **YYEEEAAAAHHH!**

Jay: **AAAAAAAHHHHHH!**

* * *

Sensei Wu: We will fight against a army tomorrow, we may die but we will win.

Kai: What did this bitch say?

Nya: How are we going to win if we fucking die?


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Lloyd: Everything's wrong. The stress of my teammates has caused me to go into a depression.

Jay: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling 'bummed out'.

Lloyd: Jay, you ignorant bastard!

* * *

Kai: Time for bed.

Young Lloyd: Mr. Ultra Dragon said I can stay up as long as I want, and you need to died.

Kai: ... What the heck Mr. Ultra Dragon.

* * *

Jay: Sometimes I wish I can fly away and never come back.

Nadakhan: Your wish is granted.

Ten minute later

Jay: I miss my Xbox.

* * *

Cole: Hey, so I think your pretty cute and I was wondering if you want to go out?

Kai: Pretty cute? I'm a god.

* * *

Lloyd: *sees Jay and Nya kissing* HEY! THAT'S DISGUSTING! THERE'S SINGLE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD TOO!

* * *

Zane: Welcome to my diner. We like to serve everyone here.

Jay: Even towel?!

Zane: ...

* * *

 **Every training**

Sensei Wu: *takes Kai's phone* This is mine now, and I'm going to take this. *takes Coles cake*

Misako: Lloyd, you forgot your-

Sensei: *takes Misako* Your moms mine now.

Lloyd: What?

Sensei: Continue training students.

* * *

 **During season five**

Cole: There's no such thing as ghost.

Morro: *appears out of no where*

Cole: Okay, that's a ghost.

Jay: AAAHHH!

* * *

Movie au

Misako: Why are you throwing report cards on the ceiling!?

Lloyd: You said bring my grades up.

Misako: I did say that. Let me see them.

* * *

Pythor: When we go into this restaurant you are twelve.

Lloyd: Pythor, I am eighteen! *gets hit by a ball*

Later

Waiter: And would you like a kid menu?

Lloyd: Yes, I do.

* * *

 **During season three**

Jay: Nya.

Nya: I thought about it, and I think I'm in love with Cole too.

Jay: Cole?

Later

Jay: COLE! *beats up Cole* LEAVE NYA ALONE!

Cole: What are you talking about!?

* * *

 **During season five**

Nya: What are you doing with the Sword of Sanctuary?

Ronin: I'm going to clean it.

Nya: Are you selling it to Morro for money?

Ronin: No!

Soul Archer: Where's the sword?

Ronin: Come back later, bring the money.

* * *

Nya: There's a spider.

Jay: So what do you want me to do!?

Nya: Kill it!

Jay: You saw it first! You kill it!

Nya: Your the man!

Jay: *wears a pink dress and a blonde wig* Since when?

* * *

 **Lloyd's first words**

Baby Lloyd: Da. Da.

Garmadon: Misako, come quick. He's going to say my name.

Baby Lloyd: Dab.

Garmadon: ... *dab*

* * *

Cole: What do you want to eat?

Zane: (What do I want to eat? How can I eat when life is a elusion. In a-)

Cole: So like pizza or...

* * *

 **During training**

Cole: *carrying weights*

Jay: Do you even lift, bro? Ha!

Cole: *drops the weights and glares at Jay*

Jay: ...

Ten seconds later

Jay: AAHH! *thrown off of the Destiny Bounty by Cole*

* * *

Jay: I love you Nya.

Nya: I like Cole now.

Jay: But I gave you a goldfish.

Nya: He gave me a cookie.

Jay: Wow, a whole cookie.

* * *

Nya: Daddy, can you pass me the salt.

Jay and Ray: *grabs the same salt*

Ray: *glares at Jay and slaps him*

* * *

Brad: Yes you are dummy head.

Young Lloyd: A least, I'm not a Poopypants.

Brad: *gasps*

Young Lloyd: That's right, Poopypants.

* * *

 **During season five**

Morro: You'll never have Lloyd!

Kai: And why is that?

Morro: Because I love you.

Kai: ...

Ten seconds later

Morro: *walks away while carrying Kai bride style*

Lloyd: How cute.

* * *

Young Nya: Can you help me dad?

Ray: Of course Sweety. *look at the paper and sees math problems*

Ten seconds later

Ray: *burns the paper* It's not going to hurt you anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Zane: I got better last chapter.**

 **I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Cole: If there's one thing in this ship I know how to do. It's how to cook.

Jay: Alright, what are you making? Fire, over there?

Cole: *looks at the kitchen and sees it's on fire* OH MY GOD!

* * *

Zane: Oh Falcon, I love your singing.

Falcon: (I'm actually screaming, because I'm afraid of heights, but Dr Julien cursed me to be a falcon.)

* * *

Cole: Don't hit me or you'll-

Young Lloyd: Shut up. *punches Cole's stomach*

Cole: Oh my-

Young Lloyd: Ha ha!

Cole: *taps Lloyd's noses gentle, and it breaks Lloyd's bones*

Young Lloyd: *cry's*

Wu: What happened?

Cole: Uh.

* * *

Cole: Dude, we got to hang out. What are you doing tomorrow?

Jay: I don't know

Cole: Do you know what your doing tonight?

Jay: Nope.

Cole: In three hours?

Jay: No.

Cole: Now?!

Jay: No.

Cole: WITH YOUR LIFE!?

Jay: No.

* * *

Kai : I don't want to be cool anymore. *throws his sunglasses but it comes back* Well I guess I don't have a chose.

* * *

 **You can get marry!**

Kai: I'm not gay-

 **Your now bisexual! *points to Lloyd* Your getting married too!**

After the wedding ceremony

 **Your all married now.**

Kai: Hey.

* * *

Jay: How much money do you have?

Lloyd: 69 cents.

Jay: You know what that means.

Lloyd: I don't have enough money to bring back my father.

* * *

 **During season three**

Kai: Okay, so what's the problem?

Jay: HE STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND!

Cole: SHUT THE HELL UP, JAY! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Kai: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS! *blows on a whistle*

ten seconds later

Jay: *in a battle a battle arena with Cole* I'm not going to hit my best friend.

Cole: *punches Jay and beats him up*

* * *

Movie au

Lloyd: Dad, I have to write a report about my parents biggest regret.

Lord Garmadon: Look in the bathroom above the sink

Lloyd: *walks in the bathroom* Look in the bathroom above the sink? *Looks above the sink to see a mirror* Son of a b-

* * *

Lloyd: *capture by Master Chen* HELP!

Nya: Never fear, for I-

Kai: I got this. *punches Master Chen and walks away carrying Lloyd bride style*

Nya: Aw. That's so sweet.

Master Chen: That's beautiful.

* * *

Zane: *stubs his foot on a table* AH! *falls to the ground*

 **Nobody ev** **er asks how the table feels**

Table: *Dances*

* * *

Young Kai: Dad, when can I make a sword?

Ray: When you go to college.

Kai: Okay, dad.

Ray: *looks at Kai to see him older* AAAHHH!

Kai: AAAHHH!

* * *

Movie au

Lloyd: When my mom sees this report card, she's going to flip.

Later

Misako: *flips nonstop*

Lloyd: I'm so sorry.

Misako: You did this to me.

Lloyd: AAAHHH!

* * *

 **We'll be back after these messages**

Dareth: *jumps off a building and lands on the sidewalk* I'M GAY!

* * *

 **And we're back. This takes place during season five**

Jay: Oh my First Spinjitzu Master, where is he?!

Soul Archer: *appears out of nowhere*

Jay: DON'T KILL ME!

Soul Archer: You got the WIFI password?

Jay: No.

Soul Archer: Okay.

* * *

 **During season five**

Morro: I saw you hanging out with Lloyd today.

Bansha: Morro, it's not what it looks like!

Morro: I won't hesitate bitch. *shoots Bansha with a water gun*

* * *

Cole: Do you want to have a bromance?

Jay: Isn't that kinda gay?

Cole: No it isn't anymore.

Jay: I'm walking out the door.

Cole: Please don't away.

* * *

Lou: I am putting my foot down. *puts his foot down*

Cole: Dad.

Lou: Do I make myself clear?

Cole: I'm sorry.

Lou: Hi sorry, I'm dad.

* * *

Movie au

Young Lloyd: Dad, can we go to Disneyland?

Lord Garmadon: No.

Young Lloyd: Mom's new boyfriend will take us to Disneyland.

Lord Garmadon: Get in car, we're going!

* * *

Kai: Oh look, it's my ex girlfriend's house.

Skylor: That's my house.

Kai: Yup. *Drops off Skylor and drives away* BBBBYYYYYEEEEE!

* * *

Ray: *singing* SO ONE LAST TIME! I NEED TO BE!

Young Kai: *pulls out a sword but Nya stops him*

* * *

Young Kai: Dad, when can I fight?

Ray: When you become a man. *looks at Kai and sees him older* AAAHHH!

Kai: AAAHHH!


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Wu: You really need to finish your vegetables.

Cole: Why?

Young Lloyd: So you can get big and strong.

Cole: You get big and strong. *puts his vegetables on Lloyd's plate*

Young Lloyd: *glares at Cole*

Ten seconds later

Young Lloyd: *shoves a bag of vegetables to Cole's face* YOU LIKE THAT!?

* * *

Young Nya: Daddy.

Ray: Yes, Nya?

Young Nya: One of the boys in my class wants to marry me.

Ten minutes later

Ray:*points to junkyard* Is that where he lives?

Young Nya: Yes.

Ray: *pulls out a sword*

Young Nya: What are you doing!?

Rayi: I'm just gonna talk to him.

* * *

Jay: *sees the Overlord* AAAAAAHHHHH!

Nya: Jay! I just put our son to sleep.

Jay: I'm sorry. He's trying to kill me.

Nya: I don't care.

Jay: Okay. *looks at the Overlord* Ah.

* * *

Ray: Kai, go clean your room.

Young Kai: *pulls out a sword*

Ray: *sighs* Alright. *pulls out a sword*

* * *

Cryptor: Do you remember the one time I liked you?

Zane: No.

Cryptor: Good, because it never happened.

Zane: Aw.

Cryptor: Ha ha!

* * *

Kai: Cole's teaching Lloyd how to read,

Sensei Wu: That's so sweet.

Cole: W-W.

Young Lloyd: Water.

Cole: That's a hard one.

Young Lloyd: Your doing great.

* * *

Cole: Hey, hand this coffee to my dad. *gives the coffee to Nya*

Nya throws the coffee at Lou and it spills on him

Lou: AAAAHHH!

Cole: He's one yard away! Why'd you throw it!?

Lou: AAAHHH!

Nya: I DON'T KNOW!

* * *

Cole: Hey guys, turn the TV off. I'm trying to read.

Kai: *turns off the TV* You know you can't read.

Cole: I said I'm trying to read.

Later Kai, Nya, Sensei, Jay, Zane, and Lloyd are helping Cole read

Cole: *reading a book* One fish, two fish.

Kai: *pats Cole's back*

* * *

Sensei Wu: No one is answering. I guess I have a call on someone.

Jay: GET DOWN! *all the ninja hide*

Sensei Wu: You. *points at Nya*

Nya: Forty Two?

Sensei Wu: Wrong.

Nya: *passes out*

Jay: They got Nya!

* * *

Jay: Toss me my keys.

Lloyd: *tosses a printer*

Jay: I said my keys.

Lloyd: I thought you said printer.

Jay: Why the fuck would I say printer?

* * *

Garmadon: What up, bitch!

Ray: Hey, man! *points to Kai and Nya who are kids*

Garmadon: Where's my mother father money, witch! *points his ring finger up* Ring Finger.

* * *

Kai: What happen to the milk?

Zane: It went bad.

Later on the streets, Jay get's shot by a gangster looking milk

Krux: HA HA HA! The milk has gone bad!

* * *

Ray: What's the point of having a baby if it can't skateboard.

Misako: My son is three months old.

Ray: He's a idiot.

Misako: Stop.

* * *

Movie au

Misako: Don't leave the table until that food is gone.

A week later

Misako: I'm back. *sees Lloyd still at the table* Your still at that table!?

Lloyd: I'm not eating this!

Misako: So you miss school!?

Lloyd: You said 'don't move'.

* * *

Jay: Toss me my keys. *catches a lamp* I said my keys!

Zane: I thought you said lam-

Jay: I WOULD NEVER SAY LAMP! *throw the lamp to the ground* WHY WOULD YOU THINK I'LL SAY THAT!?

* * *

Cole: Hey Jay, I got a slap bracelet. *slaps the slap bracelets on Jay's hand*

Jay: Oh. *slaps Cole*

Cole: Ow!

* * *

Lloyd: That moment when you enter a room, and you forgot why you went in there. *gets stable by Morro* (Oh, that right. I was getting chased by Morro)

* * *

Kai: Is there anything else you want to say before we go?

Nelson: My favorite color is blood.

Kai: ... Alright.

* * *

Lord Garmadon: I am Lord Garmadon, ruler of the underworld

Samukai: The Ninja quivers before him.

Lord Garmadon: *looks at the Ninja* FUCK OFF!

* * *

Ray: You know, you're just like your-

Maya: Say it.

Ray: MOTHER!

Ten minutes later Maya, Kai, and Nya are at Ray's funeral

* * *

Ed: Jay, it's Christmas.

Young Jay: Christmas!

Jay breaks down his bedroom door and runs to the Christmas tree

Young Jay: I'M COMING SANTA!

* * *

Young Cole: I'm going to sing a song.

Lou: Whenever your ready.

Young Cole: *coughs* AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

* * *

Young Nya: Daddy, I got a boyfriend.

Ray: A boyfriend?! What's his name?

Young Nya: Jay.

Ray: Oh yeah? And where does Jay live? *pulls out a sword*

Young Nya: *eyes widen*


	7. Chapter 7

**Kai, your my favorite character and cool AF**

 **Kai: That's a bad word**

 **No, your cool as flan**

 **Kai: Oh.**

 **I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Garmadon: I dropped our son.

Misako: Garmadon, what the fuck!

* * *

Wu: The angry brother. *slaps Garmadon*

Garmadon: DUDE!

Wu: Coming up next on Cartoon Network.

Garmadon: SHUT UP!

* * *

Nya and Kai are walking at the park and Nya runs into a pole

Kai: *looks at the pole* Dude! That's my sister, Pole! Do something about it! DO SOMETHING!

Nya: DO SOMETHING!

Kai and Nya: *punching the pole* AAAAAHHHHHH!

* * *

Jay: Hey Zane.

Zane: You got something on your shirt. *punches Jay*

Jay: What was that for!?

Zane: April fools.

* * *

Ray: What are you guys doing?

Young Nya: Kai just held his breath for 30 seconds.

Ray: Nice.

Young Nya: But Uncle Wu has been holding his breath for four hours.

Ray: *sees Wu died* AAAAHHHHHH!

* * *

Cole: Your going to sleep, Lloyd.

Young Lloyd: But how are you going to make me.

* * *

Ray: Did you know that the First Spinjitzu Master loves you

Wu: Garmadon!

Garmadon: What?

Wu: Do you love me, brother?

Garmadon: No. I hate you.

Wu grabs the Golden Shurikens and throw it at Garmadon

* * *

Nya: I think it's so cute when couples match.

Later Nya walk out the bathroom wearing a red dress and sees Jay wearing the same red dress

Jay: Let's be cute together.

Nya: *facepalm*

Jay: What? Do I look fat?

* * *

Wu: Aren't you a little too old to have a lemonade stand?

Ronin: Aren't you a little too old to be alive.

Wu: I'll show you old!

Wu was about to attack Ronin but Ronin throws a lemon at him

* * *

Wu: Open your presents, students

Jay: Why do I only get one? It's okay.

One second later

Jay: I HATE CHRISTMAS! *kicks the presents* AAAAAHHH!

Jay hits Lloyd with a present and starts attacking him.

Young Lloyd: AAAAAHHHH!

* * *

Nya and Kai are going to a elevator

Kai: That was awesome.

Nya: *gets tap by a elevator*

Kai: Yo, I got the right.

Nya: I got the left.

Nya attacks the left elevator door and Kai attacks the right elevator door

Kai: THAT'S MY SISTER!

Nya: THAT'S MY BROTHER!

* * *

Jay: *wearing a cowboy hat* I'm going to buy this.

Kai walks in looking like a police officer

Kai: Stop!

Jay: Who are you?

Kai: Fashion Polices.

* * *

 **There's nothing to watch**

Dan and Kevin Hageman: Here's a new season of Ninjago. Take your time

One day later

 **More**

Dan and Kevin Hageman: That was it, for a couple of months.

 ***groans***

* * *

Kai: *sees Lloyd talking to a police* Lloyd, is that a police? I'm calling the weed!

Kai puts 420 on the microwave

Microwave: For 420, what you smoking?

* * *

Cole: *walks in a bank* Give me all your money, or I swear I'll sing.

Guy: Please. Anything but that. Please. I'll do it

* * *

 **Edna loves Pokemon**

Cole: Hey, your son's pretty cute. What's his name?

Edna: His name is Jay Sparky Walker.

Cole: Why's his middle name Sparky?

Edna: He's going to be a Jolteon one day.

* * *

Cole: Your word is destroy.

Zane: Can you use that in a sentence?

Cole: I destroyed that-

 **We now have a different vine to put on**

Dareth: *fall on a wheelchair* I have crippling depression

* * *

Wu: Okay, thanks Cole's dad. Next up we have-

Ray: I'm Kai and Nya's dad and I'm a Pokemon master.


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Jay: When you've been a ninja for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Cole: Navy blue is not your color.

Jay: Navy blue, BRINGS OUT MY EYES YOU PRICK!

* * *

Jay: Alright man, I'll talk to you later.

Cole: Okay, I love you.

Jay: ...

Cole: Oh my First Spinjitzu Master.

* * *

 **Don't let anyone bring you down. If you have a dream, follow it.**

Lloyd: *starts playing the guitar*

Sensei Wu: *throws a tomato at Lloyd* You suck.

Lloyd: Dang it, uncle!

* * *

Nadakhan: You. Kill somebody. *hands Flintlocke a gun*

Flintlocke: Yeah.

Nadakhan: You, eat the brown part of this banana. *hands Clancee a brown banana*

* * *

 **At a swimming pool**

Cole: Babysitting is so easy.

Kai: Yeah, Lloyd's so quiet. He hasn't said anything for a hour.

Ronin: *pointing to a dead body of Lloyd* Is this your kid in the pool?

Kai: Na, our kid can't swim.

* * *

Morro: When I was in the third grade. People treated me like a criminal, BECAUSE I KILLED SOMEBODY!

* * *

Ronin: Hey kid, you want some blades? *pulls a blade from his pocket*

Young Lloyd: No. Blades are for skatin'. *magically his shoes turn into to skates and whispers to Ronin* ya dingus. *skating away during Winter* It's kinda snowy

* * *

 **When Lord Garmadon wants to feel like he has power**

Lord Garmadon: *riding on a tractor while carrying a gun* Hell yeah. I have the power of the First Spinjitzu Master. *points his gun to the police*

* * *

Ronin: I like running through a neighborhood during the night.

Later during the night Ronin is running through a neighborhood without a shirt on and carrying a gun.

Ronin: Ha ha. I'm going to steal all your stuff.

* * *

Movie Au

Zane: Where do you want to get a health snack, Cole?

Cole: I want Chipotle.

Zane: THAT'S NOT A HEALTH SNACK, COLE!

* * *

Jay: *watching Pokémon*

Who's that Pokémon?

Jay: It's Pikachu!

It's Clefairy

Jay: FFFFFUUUUUUUCCCC-

* * *

 **When Lloyd tries to be a criminal**

Young Lloyd: GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY! *Throws a chair at the window*

* * *

Ray: Hey! Hey!

Maya: Ssshh! The kids are sleeping.

Ray: sorry

Maya: what's up?

Ray: there's a fire

* * *

 **Movie au**

Misako: You go back to school or you'll end up in Mcdonalds.

Lloyd: We're going to Mcdonalds if I don't go to school?

Misako: No.

* * *

 **During season 4**

Clouse: Mr Cole, I don't want to continuing torturing you anymore.

Cole: *sighs* Yeah, you do.

Clouse: Yes! Yes I do.

* * *

Zane: How should California deal with it's drought?

Jay: They need to carry Madame Zeroni up a mountain.

Zane: That's from a movie.

* * *

Clouse: Hello Mister Lloyd. We're going to take your arm off.

Lloyd: I think I just need help.

Clouse: Give you a cool robot arm.

* * *

Skylor: I don't get it!? Why did he leave me?

Pixel: You're kinda a bitch.

Jay: You're pretty boring.

Nya: You put on some weight.

Skylor: OKAY, DAMN! SHIT!

* * *

 **Flashback from season 7**

Young Nya: Mama! Papa! We're all alone.

Young Kai: WHO'S GOING TO COOK FOR US!?

* * *

Edna loves Pokemon

Edna: How old are you?

Young Cole: Thirteen.

Edna: Dang. You didn't went through puberty, you evolved.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Sensei Wu: Okay happy students. If you are a fruit, what would you be?

Cole: I'll be a tomato because nobody accepts me as part of the group.

Sensei Wu: ... Very creative. Who's next?

* * *

Skylor: I still don't have a New Year's Resolution.

Zane: You can lose a few.

Misako: You can be less lazy.

Lloyd: Don't be such a bitch.

Skylor: OKAY, DAMN! SHIT!

* * *

Cole: You want to know my biggest fears?

Jay: What is it?

Cole: If I ever woke up as a doughnut.

Jay: You'll eat yourself.

Cole: I won't even question it.

* * *

Lou: W-What is this!? *holds up a shirt*

Cole: That would be a Louis Vuitton

 **It's a fashion brand (I had to search it up)**

Lou: HAVE YOU LOSS YOUR- This is a Gucci household.

 **I also had to search that fashion brand too**

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Sensei Wu: Alright students. If you were a office supply, what would you be?

Cole: I'll be paper because people use me and throw me away.

Sensei Wu: ... Descriptive.


	9. Chapter 9

**Jay: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**

 **It's not my birthday.**

 **Zane: Tomorrow is your birthday tho.**

 **Thanks. I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **When they were young**

Krux: How does it feel to be number one worse elemental master?

Garmadon: Shut up. Your mother buys you Mega Bloks instead of Legos.

Acronis: Hey, you fucking take that back.

* * *

Kai holds up a sign that says "Do you want to go to Prom" in front of Skylor's house. Master Chen opens the door and sees Kai holding up the sign

Master Chen: OMG! Yes!

Kai: No, no, no. Tell your daughter, Skylor.

Master Chen: Okay. Skylor, I'm going to Prom with your boyfriend!

* * *

Jay, Nya, and Zane are in a room full of children at the hospital. Misako also volunteers at the hospital to time to time.

Misako: Everyone listen up, today we have the ninja here to talk to us about stranger danger. *looks at Jay* They're all yours Jay.

Jay: Alright, first things first. I need to know how many of you are contagious, because I don't want to be catching any. Hey, baldy. *looks at the bold kid* I'm talking to you.

Misako: They're not contagious.

Nya: Alright. How many of you guys know what to do when a stranger tries to talk to you?

Little girl: Walk away.

Zane: Very good. You get one pieces of candy. *tosses candy to the little girl*

Sally: Doesn't that negate of the idea of taking candy from stranger?

Nya: But we're not stranger. We're the ninja who save Ninjago.

Brad: Barely. When you're not a ninja you're just people with no jobs.

Jay: Well at least I'm not dying.

Nelson: I'll rather die then grow up like you.

Jay: You know what everyone? Nelson can talk to as many strangers as he wants, because no nindroid would want that in the back of their car.

* * *

Dr Juilen: I have the results, and it says that you're gay.

Lloyd: Wait, you can tell that from the results?

Dr Juilen: No, I can tell as so as you walked in.

* * *

Jay: Hey buddy, do you want to go?!

Cole: Yeah, let's go!

Jay: Alright, let's go out!

Cole: On a date?

Jay: Yeah, let's go on a date.

Cole: Do you want kids?

* * *

Cole: The food was great. Thanks

Zane: Okay. So see you next time.

Cole: Okay. Love you.

Kai: ...

Zane: ... I love you too

* * *

Ronin: *steals Nya's purse*

Nya: Help! My purse!

Jay: I'll save you. *does a back-flip * Whoo hoo!

Nya: He's already gone.

Jay: Yeah but that back-flip tho.

* * *

Jay: What's Obama's last name again?

Cole walks over to Jay and slaps him.

* * *

Skylor: Hey, you want to watch Netflix?

Kai: *smiles*

One minute later Kai's trying to drag Skylor to his bedroom

Skylor: AAHH! I didn't meant chill! I didn't meant chill! AAAHHH!

* * *

Cole: So you were spying on me?

Kai: Yeah I was, but I'm not a spy.

Cole: You know people who spy on people. Spy's

Kai: Oooh bars. But look I'm not a spy.

* * *

Jay's dancing with a mop that's wearing a black short wig.

Jay: Say that you love me!

Nya: I'm so scared now.

* * *

Sensei Wu: Okay students, what did you do on the week-

Young Morro: AAAHHHH!

Sensei Wu: Why are you doing that?

Young Morro: AAAAHHH!

Sensei Wu: Why did I choose this job!?

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Nya's over at Jay's house for studying a test. During the time when Jay's parents are away, they started to kiss. Edna comes home and sees Jay and Nya studying

Jay: So that's the end of chapter nine. *looks at Edna* Oh, hi mom.

* * *

Maya: I'm heading out and I want this place Spot less.

Kai: *groans*

Maya: Spot less. *walks away*

Cole: So you named it Spot?

Kai: *holds up a pig* Yeah, I found her in the woods.


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Kai: Cole, would you kiss Jay for 20 thousand dollars?

Cole: No.

Kai: *shows Cole 20 thousand dollars*

Cole: *looks at Jay*

1 minute later Cole tries to kiss Jay

Jay: DUDE STOP IT!

* * *

Maya: KAI, YOU BETTER CLEAN UP THIS MESS RIGHT NOW!

Kai: What mess?

Maya: WHAT MESS!? *points to a small crumb on the floor* YOU DON'T SEE THAT RIGHT THERE!?

* * *

Cole: *looks at a picture of Nya* She's hot.

Jay: I'm dating her!

Cole: Then let's settle this.

Cole and Jay pull out a gun and start shooting each other.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Jay: Check it out. *points to his cat hat*

Cole: That is the most ridiculous hat I ever seen. *starts laughing*

A student: Nice hat loser.

Cole: HEY, THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND AND THAT HAT IS AWESOME!

* * *

The First Spinjitzu Master sees his sons attacking each other

First Spinjitzu Master: STOP! Brothers don't fight.

Young Garmadon: But there's only one cookie.

First Spinjitzu Master then pushes his sons away from the cookie and grabs it

* * *

Rocky: It's time for my walk, Cole.

Cole: Okay Rocky, just give me one more minute.

Rocky: I'LL DO MY BUSINESS ON THE FLOOR! Take me out.

* * *

Maya: Okay kids, dump your candy bags.

Young Nya: Mom, I got Snickers.

Young Kai: I got a weird toy.

Maya: …

Young Kai: It says fun size

* * *

 **During season one**

Sensei Wu: Okay Students, you can be anything you want.

Kai: I want to be the Green Ninja.

Sensei Wu: Okay Kai, try a little bit smaller.

Kai: Bitch, you said I can be anything I want!

Sensei Wu: Okay.

* * *

Jay: *sighs*

Cole: Are you sad?

Jay: Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it.

Cole: Then fuck you!

* * *

Young Wu: Ready or not, here I come.

Young Garmadon: *hides in the closet* He won't find me here.

Overlord: How are you doing Garmadon?

Young Garmadon: I QUIT!

* * *

Overlord: Looks like no one gives a fuck about this party except you.

Young Lloyd: *gasps* HE'S A HATER! KILL THIS BITCH!

* * *

Jay: Cooking with your best friend.

Cole: Hey guys.

Jay: First you get your pot, then add oil.

Cole: *holds up a cat* THEN YOU ADD A CAT!

Jay: No man! WHAT THE FUCK!?

* * *

Garmadon: Hey Wu, can you keep a secret?

Wu: Yeah, I got you bro.

Garmadon: Alright. *tells Wu the secret*

Wu: *Gasps* DAD!

* * *

Morro: LEAVE THIS SHIP.

Jay: *gasps*

Morro: Wait, are those scented bath salts?

Jay: Yeah, lavender.

Morro: You can stay.

* * *

Zane: Don't do it man!

Lloyd: I swear to The First Spinjitzu Master, I'm going to do it.

Zane: I don't know how to live if you do it!

Lloyd: I'm doing it! *dabs*

Zane: AAAAAHHHHH!

* * *

Kai: Wish I can stay guys, but I got to hit the books.

Jay, Lloyd, Cole, Zane, and Nya: Aw.

Kai grabs a bat and hits a book.

Kai: Okay let's hang.

Everyone: YAY!

* * *

Lloyd: *calls Cole* She broke up with me!

Cole: You never had a girlfriend.

Lloyd: I know, I just wanted to see if you cared.

Cole: *hangs up*

* * *

 **Everyone's last words before ending their senior year. Also Movie Au**

Lloyd: College.

Zane: New beginning.

Kai: Good friends.

Nya: Memories.

Jay: Hopeful.

Cole: I fucking hate this school. I can't wait to get out of here.

* * *

Jay: *sarcasm* Thanks Kai, you did a really good job this time.

Kai: HEY! I'M DOING MY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER BEST! OKAY!? FUCK YOU!

* * *

Young Cole: Dad, what's the square root of 144?

Lou: WHO CARES!? YOU'RE GROUNDED!

* * *

Nya: I always wonder what police on bicycles do when they arrest people. How do you arrest someone with a bike?

Police: Excuse me, you're under arrest. Please get in the basket. *shoves Lloyd in a basket*

* * *

Nya: He cheated on me!

Jay: Let's go. *pulls out a gun*

Zane: *starts the car* I'm on my way with Lloyd.

Skylor: *pulls out a sword*

Kai: *pulls out a flamethrower*

Misako: *pulls out a bazooka* Who's driving?

Cole: *grabs some cake* I'm ready.

* * *

Lloyd: Story time.

...

Lloyd: The man came to the bus stop everyday to pick up hot chicks.

Skylor: *Looks at Kai*

Kai: *nods*

* * *

Young Garmadon: Good night idiot. *walks away*

Young Wu: Good night... Idiot. *gets hit by Garmadon*

Young Garmadon: WHOOO!

* * *

Jay: I HATE YOU!

Cole: FINE!

Jay walks down the street remembering the good times they had. Meanwhile Cole's washing the dishes and Jay tackles him.

Jay: I MISS YOU!

Cole: AAAHH!

* * *

Sensei Wu: Three quarters of the world's population has been lost.

Everyone: ...

Sensei Wu: And the WiFi's down.

Jay: WHAT!?

Cole: OH COME ON!

Kai: NOOOOO!

* * *

Nya: You want to play Twister?

Zane: Sure, I've never played Twister before.

Later

Zane: Left foot red. *kicks Kai* Did I win?

* * *

Misako: You're grounded.

Lloyd: Obama won't treat me like this.

Misako: What?

Lloyd: Mom, Obama Care.

Misako: ... Bitch, no. That's not how Obama Care works

* * *

Ronin: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE!

Nya: AAHHH!

Jay: *wearing a banana costume* Don't worry, Banana Man is here.

Ronin and Nya: ...

Nya: Just take the purse.

* * *

Kai tells a joke and everyone laughs

Overlord: That was so funny.

Everyone: *glares at the Overlord*

Kai: *slaps Overlord*


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Kai: We can play a board game.

Zane: No.

Kai: Why not?

Zane: I think you need to go to anger management or something before I play another board game with you.

Kai: Oh Anger Management!? NAME ONE TIME! THAT I! HAD! ANGER PROBLEMS!?

* * *

Cole: You're stupid.

Young Lloyd: No I'm not.

Cole: What's nine plus ten?

Young Lloyd: 21.

Cole: You're stupid.

* * *

Young Wu: Hey brother, wash the dishes.

Young Garmadon: No, you wash them.

Young Wu: Wash the mother fucking dishes!

Later Wu ends up washing the dishes

Young Wu: Fuck!

* * *

Zane: Hey Jay, what does Rule 34 mean. Nobody will tell me.

Jay: Well Zane, Rule 34 means s- *A Zane Fangirl kicks him*

Fangirl: *holds Zane* Ssshhh. The bad man's gone now.

Zane: 0_0

* * *

 **After Sensei Wu gives a heart warming speech about moving on after a break up**

Sensei Wu: Because time will heal a broken heart.

Kai: …

Sensei Wu: But not that bitch's window. *throws a brick at Kai's ex girlfriend's window* RUN!

* * *

Nya: *wakes up and sees Nadakhan in her hotel room* WHOA!

Nadakhan: Room service.

Nya: You didn't even knock.

Nadakhan: I don't work here.

Nya: Wut?

Nadakhan: *makes weird noises while climbing onto Nya's bed*

Nya: AAAAHHHHH!

* * *

Zane: Good morning my brothers and sister.

Cole: FUCK YOU, WE'RE SLEEPING!

Zane: Yes! Yes! Fuck you too!

* * *

Radio: Hit the Quan.

Garmadon: You better not hit Quan.

Lloyd: Dad it's a dance-

Garmadon: What did Quan ever do to you? Huh!?

* * *

Jay: Hey, how are-

Rocky: *attacks Jay*

Jay: AAAHHH! GET YOUR FUCKING DRAGON OFF ME BITCH!

Cole: He doesn't bite.

Jay: YES HE DOES!

* * *

Machia: I curse you to never have children.

Nya: That's fine

Jay: We can just adopt.

Nya: Yeah.

Machia: And I'll change your WIFI password.

Jay and Nya: NOOOO!

* * *

Young Wu: Hey brother, guess what?

Young Garmadon: WHAT!?

Young Wu: Whoa. Calm down you crazy bitch.

Young Garmadon: *glares at him*

Later The First Spinjitzu Master sees Garmadon tackling Wu

Young Wu: Aahhh! Let go! Ahh!

* * *

Morro: Boo, I'm a spooky ghost.

Lloyd: You don't sound that scary.

Morro: *slaps Lloyd* You want to say that again bitch?

* * *

Young Jay: Cole, I just got Lego blocks.

Young Cole: Lego blocks?

Young Jay: We can build anything we want!

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Cole: I have no friends.

Nya: *coughs* Bitch, what are we? Cockroach's?

* * *

Cole: I love you.

Kai: Aw, I love me too.

Cole: ಠ_ಠ

Kai: What?

* * *

During the ending of season three

Zane: I'm going to sacrifice my life

Kai: No don't do it! No Zane! NO!

Zane: *Falls to his death* Weeeee.

Kai: NO DON'T DO IT!

Zane: *Keeps on falling* Weeeee.

Kai: No no no!

Zane: Weeee.

Kai: NOOOOO!

Zane: Weeee.

Kai: Come back here Zane!

Zane: Weee.

Kai: NOOOO! Say something Zane.

Zane: Your parents are probably dead.

Kai: Fuck you Zane.

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Misako: Lloyd.

Lloyd: Yeah mom.

Misako: We need to go buy school supplies.

Lloyd: … S-school?

* * *

Pixel: Hi can you help me find the pillow?

Nya: On your left, Pixel.

Pixel: My right?

Nya: Left.

Pixel: Up?

Nya: PIXEL!

* * *

Kai: Hey Siri, call my girlfriend.

Siri: Which one?

Kai: (¬‿¬)

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Lloyd: Did you eat all the cake?

Cole: ...

Lloyd: You did. You at all the cake you bastard.

* * *

Ray: See you later Dude.

Kai: Alright later, dad.

Ray: *laughs* You just said dad.

Kai: I know.

Ray: *gasps* Son?

* * *

 **I wanted to try something different and original, so I made this. If you guys want more of this, I'll probably add theses at the end of a chapter. Enjoy... Please**

Misako: Garmadon, I'm pregnant.

Garmadon: That's wonderful. We're going to be parents. I think Lloyd would be a good name if it's a boy.

Misako: That sounds nice.

Eight months later

Doctor: Congratulations Garmadon. It's a boy. *gives him his son*

Garmadon: This is the best day of my life- *sees that Lloyd has blonde hair and green eyes* WHAT THE FUCK!?

Doctor: What's wrong?

Garmadon: Why does Lloyd have blonde hair!? Neither of us has blonde hair unless-

Wu: *opens the door* Sup guys.

Garmadon: Misako, hold Lloyd for a moment. *gives Misako Lloyd* BROTHER YOU MOTHER FUCKER! *punches Wu*

Wu: WHAT THE HELL!?

Garmadon: You had a affair with my wife!

Wu: What makes you say that!?

Garmadon: Our child has blonde hair and neither of us have blonde hair except you!

Wu: Just because I have blonde hair doesn't mean that's my child.

Garmadon: I want a D.N.A. test right now!

One day later Wu, Garmadon, and Misako are on The Maury Povich Show

Garmadon: And that's why I think that Lloyd is Wu's son.

Maury: Okay and Wu do you have anything to say?

Wu: I swear I never slept with his wife.

Maury: *opens the envelope and reads the D.N.A. test* When it comes to Lloyd Garmadon, Wu you are-

 **To be** **continue. So tell me what you think. Do you like it, hate it, want more, or you think this is the worst thing you ever seen in your life and demand me to stop. Have a wonderful day**


	12. Chapter 12

**Before we begin someone asked me to do the Do You Wanna Have a Bromance vine, and the When Your Lights Don't Work vine. The Bromance vine is in Chapter 5 while the other one is at the end of chapter one.** **I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Jay: Hey dude, what's good.

Lloyd: Nothing.

Jay: I didn't say 'what's up' I said 'what's good'.

Lloyd: Nothing!

* * *

Cole: Just a couple of dudes being guys

Zane: Couple of guys being dudes.

Cole: Just a couple of dudes being gay.

Zane: Take off your shirt, Cole.

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Kai: Dude, look at how big my shoes are.

Zane: You know what they say about Bigfoot.

Kai: You mean big feet?

Zane: They'll try to tell you he's not real, but I've seen him!

* * *

 **During season 5**

Kai: Hey bro, what do you want to eat?

Morro: The souls of the innocent.

Lloyd: A bagel.

Morro: No!

Lloyd: Two bagels.

* * *

Garmadon: Jokes on you-

Maya: There's something on me?

Garmadon: No tha-

Maya: Get it off me!

Garmadon: But there's-

Maya: GET IT OFF ME OR I'LL KILL YOU!

Garmadon: ...

* * *

Kai: Here's the money that I own you. *gives Cole 20 dollars*

Cole: The receipt said $20.19.

Kai: So?

Later Cole's tackling Kai while Jay and Zane are trying to pull Cole away from him

Cole: IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, IT'S THE RESPECT YOU BITCH!

* * *

 **Edna loves Pokemon**

Edna: Pikachu go!

Pikachu: PIKACHU!

Garmadon: Go Overlord! *The Overlord appears* Use gun.

Overlord: Bitch. *shoots Pikachu with a gun*

Edna runs off without Pikachu

* * *

Lloyd: Happy birthday grandpa.

First Spinjitzu Master: Everyone I love is gone.

Lloyd: But grandpa I'm still here.

First Spinjitzu Master: ... Everyone I love is gone!

* * *

Nya: Why are you by the dumpster, Ronin?

Ronin: I'm not selling illegal weapons.

Nya: I didn't ask if you were selling weapons.

Ronin: No, I am selling illegal weapons.

* * *

 **When Cyrus Borg was young**

Cyrus: Do you want to go out sometime?

Women: *laughs* You're kidding. *walks away*

Cyrus: I own Google.

Women: Let's get married! *runs to Cyrus and tackles him*

Cyrus: OMG! She's heavy!

* * *

Kai: I think there's a raccoon in the Ultra Stealth Raider. *gets attack by the raccoon* AAAHH!

Zane: *runs off*

* * *

First Spinjitzu Master: Lloyd!

Lloyd: Yes grandpa?

First Spinjitzu Master: …

Lloyd: Yes grandpa!?

First Spinjitzu Master: Shut the hell up!

* * *

Zane: I'm going to take a quick refreshing nap before the party.

Kai: Okay

 **One hour later**

Nya: Ready?

Zane: I HATE EVERYTHING! *throws a pillow at Jay and attacks everyone*

* * *

Kai: What's in there? *points to a hole*

Kai and Zane go investigate the hole and sees a pitbull running towards them.

Zane: Oh my gosh!

Kai: Run!

* * *

Jay: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cole: Why?

Jay: To get to the little bitch's house. Knock Knock.

Cole: Who's there?

Jay: It's the chicken. WHOA!

* * *

 **During season 3**

Zane: Pixel, I think I like you.

Pixel: Me too, Zane. You're a great friend

Zane: … Alright.

* * *

Misako: Why the hell did you get suspended!?

Lloyd: I was dancing in the cafeteria-

Misako: I don't want to hear it!

Lloyd: …

Misako: Hello!?

Lloyd: What?

Misako: What the hell you mean what?! Explain!

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Nya: While you were gone you missed three exams.

Lloyd: Really?

Nya: And twenty homework assignments.

Lloyd: Okay, I'm going to be right back. *walks away*

 **Lloyd: Then I flew myself right into the sun.**

* * *

Cole: Freeze! You're under arrest for robbery!

Jay: Wait! W-what did I steal!?

Cole: My heart.

Jay: ...

 **Later**

Jay: And that's how we met.

Kai and Skylor: Aw.

* * *

Nya: Time for some patriotic activity's.

Cole: Fireworks?

Nya: No. Dumping tea. *dumps tea out the window*

Lou: *sitting outside and tea splashes on him* AAAAAAHHH!

Cole: Was that hot tea?

Nya: Maybe...

* * *

Jay: That was a great night.

Nya: Yeah-

Cole: Sup Jay.

Nya: Is that your roommate?

Jay: Yeah.

Nya: He's so hot.

Jay: So you're with him now?

Nya: Yeah.

Jay: *starts crying* No!

* * *

Flintlocke: *blows a kiss to Dogshank*

Dogshank: *grabs it, puts it in a blender, and blends it*

Flintlocke: ╥﹏╥

* * *

 **It's finally here. The moment you've been waiting for. Is Wu the father? Here's the thing. I made two endings for this. I might do another story next time. So enjoy.**

 **Ending A**

Maury: Wu, you are the father.

Garmadon: BITCH, I KNEW IT! *throws his chair*

Wu: Well it does makes sense since I did walk her home after going to a bar with her, while you were away.

Garmadon: ….

Misako: Oh shit, now I remember.

Garmadon: WU, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH A DAMN CHAIR! *attacks Wu with a chair*

Wu: AAAAAHHHH!

Misako: Should we stop them? Wu already has a broken arm.

Maury: This happens a lot here, Misako. It's natural.

 **Ending B**

Maury: Wu, you are not the father. Garmadon is the real father.

Wu: See!

Garmadon: Then why the hell does Lloyd have blonde hair!?

Maury: It's just normal. Parents with black or brunette hair could end up having a child with blonde hair.

Garmadon: … Fine, I'll take it. Sorry for beating you up on the way here, brother.

Wu: You broke my arm.

Garmadon: Quit crying about it, Wu.

Wu: … AAAAHHHH! *attacks Garmadon with a chair*

Misako: OMG! Why!?

 **Oh, wait. Did I said two endings? I meant three endings**

 **Ending C**

Maury: Wu, you are not the father.

Wu: See!

Maury: Also Garmadon you're not the father too.

Garmadon: WHAT!? Then who's the real father!?

Maury: The real father is-

Overlord: *makes an epic grand entrance by destroying the wall* I HAVE A SON?!

Wu: *the wall falls on him* What the hell?!

Maury: The Overlord.

Garmadon: You slept with The Overlord!?

Misako: Yes?

Overlord: You can tell that's my son because of the hair. *he shows his majestic long blonde hair*

Wu: MY EYES!


	13. Chapter 13

**Playing Hangman with your best friend**

Cole: There's no Q, so you loose.

Jay: Dude, are you kidding me? You can still add something.

Cole: I added a belt, four earrings, and a extra arm! You loose!

* * *

 **Movie au**

Sensei Wu: What would you do if there was a child right in front of you?

Lord Garmadon: *throws his son*

Young Lloyd: AAAAHH! *explodes*

Misako: GARMADON, WHAT THE FUCK!?

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lord Garmadon: Son, your mother and I are getting a divorce, and you need to pick who you want to live with.

Young Lloyd: Well that's very simple. Who's going to buy me a fucking Xbox One.

* * *

Sensei Wu: So kids, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Young Nya: I want to be a astronaut.

Young Jay: I want to be a doctor.

Sensei Wu: Kai?

Young Kai: I wanna be hot.

* * *

Young Jay: My dad has a gold tooth.

Young Cole: Shut up. My dad has diabetes.

Young Jay: ...

* * *

Kai: Hey, what should I do with these files?

Nya: Just run those by Zane.

Kai: Uh, okay? *runs pass Zane*

Zane: What was that?

* * *

Cole: Jay, you don't even care. What if I die!?

Jay: Then you'll have a funeral.

Cole: I mean what would you do?

Jay: I would go to the funeral?

* * *

Maya: Fuck you.

Garmadon: Fuck you too, bitch.

Maya: Kiss my a$$ bitch motherfucker.

* * *

Morro: Do you ever wonder what it would be like to die? In a fire.

Everyone: …

Nya: Who the fuck invited you here?

* * *

Overlord: Do you have the stuff?

Young Lloyd: Hey, I'm Lloyd.

Overlord: What the fuck?! You're not my dealer.

Lord Garmadon: It's bring your child to work day, sir.

* * *

Zane: Like a good neighbor, Allstate is there.

Cole: *appears out of nowhere and sees the damage car* WHAT THE FUCK!? You better buy a bicycle!

Zane: You're not going to help me?

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lloyd: I hate my life. I'm going to jump off this building.

Cole: Do a front flip.

Kai: Cole, what the hell?!

Cole: What? He's already going to do it.

* * *

Kai: Hey, can I buy you a drink?

Skylor: I don't know. Can you?

Kai: Depends on how much they are. *looks at the menu* Their thirteen dollars, I can not.

* * *

Cole: Man, I'm getting hungry.

Lou: You're still hungry!?

Cole: I didn't eat yet.

Lou: LIES! YOU JUST HAD THANKSGIVING LAST WEEK!

Cole: WE NEED FOOD EVERYDAY!

Lou: NO, YOU'RE JUST GREEDY!

* * *

Maya: Okay, kids. Order whatever you want.

Young Nya: I wanna pony.

Maya: Nya, this is Mcdonalds.

Young Kai: PONY!

Maya: Fine, I'll get you the pony.

* * *

Ronin: Good credit, bad credit, no credit? No problem. Are you dead? FUCK IT! Ghost credit!

Morro: I'm gonna get a Subaru.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Nya: Can you pass me a piece of paper?

Zane: Sure. *accidentally drops it and runs after it*

Once their outside it flies away

Zane: Be free.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lord Garmadon: Where did you put the plunger?

Misako: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE!?

Lord Garmadon: I LIVE HERE!

Misako: NO YOU DON'T!

Lord Garmadon: YES I DO!

Misako: NO THE HELL YOU DON'T!

* * *

Cole: Go ahead and introduce yourself.

Jay: My name is Jay with a B and I've been afraid of insects my-

Cole: Stop, stop. Where?

Jay: What?

Cole: Where's the B?

Jay: There's a bee?!

* * *

Young Skylor: Why do I have to go to sleep?

Clouse: Why don't you shut the fuck up?

* * *

Wu; *fires a gun to scare Garmadon*

Garmadon: THIS IS WHY MOM DIED FROM DISAPPOINTMENT!

* * *

Young Kai: Dad, is something burning?

Ray: Well it could be my hot mixtape.

Young Kai and Young Nya: …

Ray: And the kitchen's on fire.

Young Kai and Young Nya: AAAHHH!

* * *

Cole, Nya, and Jay: Happy New Year!

Cole and Jay leans towards Nya to kiss her, but Kai turns off the lights for Nya to escape. He turns it back on and sees Cole and Jay kissing while Nya's by him.

Jay and Cole: *pushes each other away* AAAAHHH!

Kai and Nya: *smiles*

* * *

 **Movie au**

Jay: (Okay, be smooth. The pick up line is 'hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because you have the face of an angel'. Don't mess this up)

 **Later**

Jay: Heavens angel, did you fall on your face?

Nya: OH MY GOD, TAKE ME!

* * *

Cole: Dad, me and Jay are going to the mall.

Lou: No, Jay and I are going to the mall.

Cole: What, you're trying to take my best friend, bitch!?

* * *

Ray: That's the last time you bully my son. Let's roll, Kai. *skates away*

Young Kai: *face-palm*

* * *

Morro: We'll all die. You either kill yourself or get killed.

Nya: Seriously, WHO INVITED HIM HERE!?

* * *

 **Movie au**

Cole: *grabs a microphone* Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You're cool. *points to Lloyd*

Lloyd: *gives Cole a thumbs up*

Cole: And fuck you I'm out! *throws the microphone at Garmadon*

* * *

 **Tall people**

Cole: How tall are you?

Kai: 6.4 feet tall.

 **Short people**

Cole: How tall are you?

Jay: *glares at Cole* I am 5 foot, 2 inches, and three quarters. I will destroy you.

* * *

 **Would you rather gone wrong**

Zane: Would you rather kill Lloyd-

Morro: Yes. Kill him.

Zane: I didn't say the other-

Morro: I don't need to hear it.

Lloyd: ... I'm feeling a little unsafe.

* * *

Police: Stop right there street rat!

Ray: *runs while singing* Gotta eat to live. Gotta steal to eat.

Police: What? Stop the music! *music stops* JUST GET A JOB!

* * *

Morro: So I've been thinking, and I decided we should get marry.

Lloyd: Okay, but I have to propose.

Morro: What if I propose?

Lloyd: I would say no.

Morro: And I will kill you.

* * *

Ray sees a spider on the dashboard while driving his kids to school

Ray: ... *jumps out of the car while it's driving*

Young Kai and Nya: *still in the car* AAAHH!

* * *

 **So sorry it's been months since I've updated. Some of you probably know the reason, but I want to make an announcement. Since The Ninjago movie comes out in 22nd of September, I'll do something special on that day. For a whole chapter all the vines will be in the Movie Au, and I'm hoping I can make it long. Also there will be a story that hopefully doesn't suck. So that's that. Peace out everyone**


	14. Ninjago movie special

**Today folks is the day. The day we've been waiting for ever since the announcement. The Ninjago movie is out and I just watched it today. There are** **references in the movie from the show that you'll know.** **Anyways, this chapter will be different since all the vines will be in the Movie universe, and I made a special story that I hope you all enjoy.** **I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Enjoy everyone.**

* * *

Teacher: What do you mean you don't have your homework?

Lloyd: I'm sick in bed. Why are you in my bedro-

Teacher: Detention!

Lloyd: I'm not even in class!

* * *

 **Our guest star today is Harry Potter**

Harry: Hello classmates, my name's Harry. I'm a wizard.

Student: Fuck you.

* * *

TV: *playing a Back to School commercial*

Kai: *turns off the TV and walks outside*

 **Later**

Kai: *in the middle of the streets* Hit me! Hit me with your car!

* * *

Koko: Lloyd, we're going back to school shopping tomorrow.

Lloyd: …

Later the ninja are sit in a dark room

Nya: The dark times are upon us.

* * *

Jay: Hey man, what's the king of all school supplies?

Cole: I don't know. What?

Jay: The ruler.

Cole: *pulls out a gun*

* * *

?: Wake up, dear.

Cole: No.

?: Time for school.

Cole: Nooo.

Teacher: You're already here.

Cole: NO! *goes back to sleep*

* * *

 **If Lloyd was in a Back to School Ad**

Jay: It's back to school time.

Lloyd: Why are you guys happy?

Nya: Time for learning.

Lloyd: Schools a bad thing.

Zane: And fun.

Lloyd: I hate you all. *walks away*

* * *

Nya: NO!

Kai: What happened?

Nya: Back to school commercials.

Kai: No. NO! *pulls out a gun and starts shooting the TV*

* * *

TV: *playing another Back to School commercial*

Lloyd: *turns off the tv* Okay.

Later Lloyd's laying down on the streets while Nya's driving her motorcycle

Lloyd: Just a little bit more. I want you to hurt me really hard.

* * *

Lloyd: Hey guys, don't be afraid of putting yourself out there. Just walk outside and-

Student: You're a bitch.

Lloyd: Okay. Stay inside.

* * *

Lloyd: Welcome to Mcdonalds, what can I get you?

Cole: I want to fucking die.

Lloyd: Same. Same.

* * *

 **At the store**

Nya: Kai, go put those corndogs back.

Kai: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING! *runs off*

* * *

 **Now here's four skits**

Teacher: Alright, so let's start off with a simple problem to start off our day. Here's one. Cole has nineteen bottles of dish soap, and he gives-

Jay: Wait, why does Cole have some many soaps in the first place?

Cole: MIND YOUR BUSINESS, JAY! WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT IT! IT'S MY LIFE! Damn!

Teacher: Are you all done? Alright, so Cole has nineteen bottles of dish soap, and he gives Nya six. How many dish soap will Cole have?

Cole: Six! I'm not even going to give her one. She pitching for none of that- HEY NYA! STEP YOUR A$$ BACK!

Nya: …

Teacher: Hey Cole! Give her the dish soap. It's in the problem.

Cole: I can give her some. Cause I seen her picking her nose earlier. Yeah, I seen that, Nya. You ain't slick! Disgusting! So get your hand over here and gets some soap.

Nya: *holds her hand out while feeling embarrassed*

Cole: *smile and pours some soap on her hand*

* * *

Zane: No, no, no, no, no.

Nya: Hey Zane.

Zane: *punches Nya's stomach*

Nya: AAAAHH! WHAT THE FUCK!?

Zane: You are one of my very best friends, and I cannot stand by and let you throw away your life like this. You're too young. You're too beautiful!

Nya: What the fuck are you talking about?

Zane: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside your belly right now.

Jay: See ya. *walks away*

Nya: I'm not pregnant!

Zane: Well not after that punch you aren't. I've been taking some classes.

Nya: I was never pregnant, Zane.

Zane: ... Are you sure?

Nya: Yes I'm fucking sure!

Kai: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everyone yelling over here?

Zane: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test-

Kai: *punches Nya's stomach*

Nya: MOTHERFUCKER!

* * *

Koko: Lloyd, where are you baby? Mama wants to go home and get dr- go to sleep.

 **Later**

Koko: Has anyone seen my son!? Oh god. LLOYD!

 **Much later**

Koko: I can see every equation.

 **Much, much later**

Koko: Excuse me ma'am, have you seen my son? He's about this tall, clearly gay but we haven't had the talk yet.

Young Nya: …

 **Much, much, much later**

Koko: Do you know where my son is?

Edna: No.

Koko: GOD DAMMIT!

* * *

 **After a rough day at school and saving Ninjago. Lloyd's extremely stress out and goes babysit a child for some money.**

Lloyd: Okay, your mom left me a list. It says 'feed it at six o'clock so be sure to do that.' Then it says 'shut the hell up at forever o'clock'. So any questions?

Nelson: I want to play my GameCube.

Lloyd: That's not a question-

Nelson: Where's my Xbox?

Lloyd: How about you get me a PS piece of pizza, or you can Nintendo 64 forget about ever surviving.

Nelson: Can we get pizza?

 **Later**

Pizza guy: Here's your pizza. With extra-

Lloyd: *grabs the pizza* Get the fuck out.

Lloyd throws Nelson at the Pizza guy, closes the door, and they exploded for no reason.

Lloyd: Finally, Little Caesars pepperoni pizza. All to myself. *opens the box and sees nothing* EVERY FUCKING TIME! *kicks it*

* * *

Lord Garmadon: Hey Wu, watch this. *stabs Jay with a sword*

Wu: What are you doing!? Why would you kill him like that?!

Lord Garmadon: You're next.

* * *

Zane: Good day Cole, how are you feeling today?

Cole: I'm feeling pretty happy.

Zane: So you're feeling gay?

Cole: … I'm not fucking gay, dude!

* * *

Principle: And here's our wonderful English class.

Kai: *smashing Jay's head against the wall* TWILIGHT! ISN'T! LITERATURE!

* * *

Lord Garmadon: *singing* This woman is my destiny. She said.

Koko: Ooh-ooh-hoo. Shut up. Shut up.

* * *

News Reporter: Folks were told to stay off roadways unless it was necessary.

Police: So why are you here?

Cole: I wanted doughnuts.

* * *

 **During Lunch**

Nya: Guy's, save my seat.

Lloyd: Okay

Later, Nya comes back and sees someone else sitting in her seat.

Zane: We can explain.

Kai: She came in-

Nya: It's fine. *shoves her off her seat* It's okay.

Everyone: Yeah.

* * *

Jay: Well I had a really great time-

Nya: *kisses Jay*

Jay: … *runs off blushing*

* * *

Zane: *pulls out a coin out of nowhere* Boom.

Nya: WITCH! *attacks Zane* YOU CAN'T ESCAPE NOW!

Kai: *throws sand at Zane* SAND COMPELS YOU!

* * *

Kai: *turns off the Xbox while Nya is playing on it*

Nya: Hey, I was-

Kai: *throws money at Nya* Shut up.

* * *

Lord Garmadon: Hey Lightning Ninja, look over there. Your family's getting murder.

Jay: What!?

Lord Garmadon: Just kidding. You just got prank.

Jay: *sees his parents dead bodies* YOU FUCKING KILLED MY PARENTS!

* * *

Young Lloyd: Hey dad, guess what day it is?

Lord Garmadon: Two year anniversary of your mother leaving?

Young Lloyd: It's hump day.

* * *

 **If Koko was a police officer**

Koko: The man is armed, red eyes, gorgeous hair, beautiful smile… Perfect.

* * *

Young Cole: *picks up a phone* Hello, how are you doing?

Lord Garmadon: You didn't pay your income tax.

Young Cole: *hangs up*

Young Jay: Who was that?

Young Cole: The income tax guy.

Young Jay: Why did you hang up on him?

Young Cole: Because he's a bad guy. *hears the phone ringing and picks it up* Hello?

Lord Garmadon: This is the income tax man.

Young Cole: *hangs up*

* * *

Kai: Hey sis.

Nya: One second guys. *puts her phone down* What?

Kai: I'm gay.

Nya: *pick up her phone* You guys, my brother just said the gayest thing.

* * *

Jay: Hey, what's up?

Nya: Just here with my boyfriend.

Jay: Where?

Nya: *points to her cup*

Jay: *looks inside of the cup, and sees a fish* AAAAAHH!

* * *

Lord Garmadon: *holds his son* This baby is damn useless. He can't do shit.

Koko: What do you want him to do?

Lord Garmadon: I need him to do a back-flip.

* * *

Cole: Dude, check out my new mix tape.

Zane: What's it about?

Cole: Violence, death.

Zane: …

Cole: And fairies. *throws a toy fairy at Zane*

Zane: Oh my gosh.

* * *

Kai: Hey guys, I have a announcement. I'm changing my birthday to today.

Nya: It's fucking Christmas.

Kai: Really? You're going to be a bitch to me on my birthday.

* * *

Jay: Oh my gosh, this is a nice shirt. Can I keep it?

Lloyd: *sighs* Yes.

Jay: What about your hat, can I keep it?

Lloyd: Yeah.

Jay: What about your couch?

Lloyd: No! Stop it.

* * *

Garmadon: Ready to fucking die!? *holds up a sword*

Wu: AAAAHH! No! I'm a bad bitch! You can't kill me.

* * *

Cole: My freaking stomach hurts, dude.

Jay: You ate a lot last night.

Cole: What was it?

Jay: All the walls and the ceiling.

Cole: That's fucking sick.

* * *

Lloyd: *eating some Girl Scout cookies* Delicious.

Lord Garmadon: And nutritious. Girl Scout Cookies. Now made with real Girl Scouts.

Lloyd: What?

* * *

Student: Hey bitch, give me that scooter!

Young Lloyd: My mama gave me this scooter!

Student: Fuck your mama.

Young Lloyd: AAAAAHH! *throws the scooter at the student*

* * *

Koko: Lloyd, wake up.

Lloyd: Five minutes.

Koko: You've been in a coma for two years.

Lloyd: Okay, two more minutes.

* * *

 **And now a word of advice from Lloyd**

Lloyd: And just remember that no one will ever hate you more than you already hate yourself.

* * *

 **Cole's first time as a** **DJ**

Cole: Now how about you sing?

Kai: How about you sing?! That's what I paid for!

Cole: … Alright. Tough crowd.

* * *

Teacher: Now class, today will be talking about bullying.

Lloyd: I get bullied sometimes-

Everyone: NO ONE ASK!

* * *

Police: Keep your hands where I can see them! *walks over to a car*

Police: Sir, what's the prob-

The police officer sees a young Cole sitting on the drivers looking drunk while holding a bottle.

Police: Sir, what's in the bottle?

Young Cole: …

Police: What's in the bottle? *pulls out a walky talky* Headquarters, we got a car accident over at Mcdonalds. He's not responding. Sir, I need you to drop the bottle.

Young Cole: …

Police: Yep, he's resisted.

* * *

 **Overprotective brother**

Young Kai: When the boys talk to you what do you do? Let's pretend, I'm the boy. *walks towards Nya*

Young Nya: *walks away*

Young Kai: Good job, Nya.

* * *

 **Here's the story. I hope you all enjoy**

 **After Season 7**

Jay: So, now what?

Cole: Are we supposed to look for Sensei or something?

Kai: Cole, he's literally lost in fucking time. We'll figure it out later.

Jay: But-

Kai: LATER!

Zane: Uh, guys. Does anyone notices the giant portal in the sky?

Nya: It might be Sensei coming back.

Kai: If Sensei Wu's coming back then why is it taking Lloyd?

Nya: What?

Lloyd: *floats away* GUYS, WHAT THE FUCK! SAVE ME! *gets suck in and the portal disappears*

Cole: Oh shit.

The portal reopens and someone else falls out of it. They land on the Airjitzu Temple, falls off the temple, and hits the ground.

Everyone: LLOYD!

Zane: Oh thank goodness he's back.

Movie Lloyd: Ugh, where am I?

Jay: OMG! The portal gave Lloyd green eyes!

Kai: Really Jay? Really? Out of all the things.

* * *

 **Meanwhile in The Ninjago movie universe**

Lloyd: *falls from the portal and hit the ground* Ow! My head hurts like heck.

Lloyd looks around and sees five people who almost look like his friends.

Movie Kai: Bro, are you okay? *helps Lloyd up* What happened to your eyes, man? They aren't green anymore.

Lloyd: Who are you guys?

Movie Jay: You don't remember us? AH! Maybe the portal gave him amnesia?!

Movie Cole: Jay, you're overreacting.

Movie Jay: I'M NOT OVERREACTING! AAAAAHHH! *runs around scream like a little girl until he bumps into Zane*

Movie Zane: Oh, hello Jay.

Movie Nya: Can anyone explain what's going on?

Movie Wu: *appears out of nowhere* I might know.

Movie Kai: AH! WHAT THE HELL! Stop that.

Lloyd: Uncle?!

Movie Zane: I'm in shock. Sensei, may you explain what happened to Lloyd's eyes?

Movie Wu: I can't tell you that, but I can tell you this. Every year a portal appears that leads to another universe. It takes someone from both of those universes, and they switched places for three day. This Lloyd is from another universe, and our Lloyd is in his universe.

Movie Cole: Wait, how do you know all this?

Movie Wu: Long ago I switched places with another handsome Wu, and I had to fight snakes people with people I don't know.

Movie Jay: So, what do we do with this Lloyd then?

Movie Wu: We can't let no one know about this. Not even Koko.

Lloyd: Who's she?

Movie Nya: That's our Lloyd's mom.

Lloyd: That's strange. My mom's name is Misako.

Movie Kai: That doesn't matter. Anyways, we're going to be late for school if we don't start moving. So do we take him to school with us?

Movie Wu: Of course. I have important things to do, like drinking tea.

Lloyd: WAIT, WHAT!?

* * *

 **Meanwhile at The Blacksmith Shop**

Ray: So let me get this straight. Lloyd was stuck into a portal, and then he came back, but with green eyes.

Kai: That's what Jay thinks. Not us.

Movie Lloyd: I have no idea who you guys are.

Jay: Maybe the portal gave him a-

Ray: Jay, we already did that joke, and it's terrible. And you should feel terrible. Anyway, I know what's going on, and it's very simple. This isn't our Lloyd.

Nya: What do you mean by that?!

Maya: Calm down, dear. Let me explain. During The Serpentine War, Wu went missing and we search for him everywhere. Once we found him, he had no clue what's going on. We later learned that he was from another universe. Three days later he was stuck into a portal and our Wu was back.

Zane: So you're saying that Lloyd will come back in three days?

Ray: That's pretty much it.

Cole: And that this guy is another Lloyd from another universe?

Ray: Yup.

Kai: Cool. So Other Lloyd, what's it like in your Ninjago city?

Movie Lloyd: Oh it's fine. Everybody hates me because my dad attacks the city, I get bullied a lot because him, and I cry myself to sleep every night because I think my dad doesn't love me and the whole world hates me. So other than that it's fine.

Everyone: …

Jay: Okay? Well how about you take it easy since you're here? Think of this as a vacation.

Movie Lloyd: I guess. I wonder how my friends are deal with the Other Lloyd?

* * *

 **Meanwhile at Ninjago movie's High school's hallways with Kai and Lloyd**

Lloyd: Urgh! Why do I have end up it a universe where I have to go to school?!

Movie Kai: We all hate it here, Other Lloyd. We all hate it.

Lloyd: In my universe we never went to school while we're ninja. Plus why was everyone glaring at me while we were walking to school?

Movie Kai: Oh yeah, about that… In this universe everyone hates you.

Lloyd: Why?

Movie Kai: It's because of our Lloyd's dad.

Lloyd: Oh my gosh… I can see my dad again? Well he isn't my actual dad, but it's close enough.

Movie Kai: What are you talking about?

Lloyd: Nevermind.

Movie Zane: Hello my good friends. You all ready for another day in hell?

Lloyd: What the heck?

Movie Kai: It's something Cole programed Zane to say just for fun. I don't find it funny, but it's Cole's kind of humor. I guess.

Movie Nya: *drives her motorcycle in the hallway and stops by her friends* Sup guys. You need a ride?

Lloyd: Quick question. Why do you have a motorcycle at school?

Movie Nya: What?

Lloyd: It doesn't make any sense. What if you run over someone and then you get sued for breaking their bones or even worse by killing them? So why the fuck do you have it here?

Movie Nya: Because… Because fuck you. That's why.

The bell rings Nya pulls the guys onto her bike.

Movie Nya: No time wasting. LET'S GO! *drives off*

* * *

 **Meanwhile in Lord Garmadon's secret lair**

Lord Garmadon: And that concludes my presentation of my super awesome evil plan. Any questions?

General six: *raises his hand*

Lord Garmadon: NEVER QUESTION ME! *pushes a button that launches General six far away* Any more questions?

Everyone: *shakes their head*

Lord Garmadon: Perfect. Now that we took care of that- *hears someone drinking something* Alright, who bought a drink and didn't share with me?!

General fourteen: Sorry Lord Garmadon. I'm just finishing my drink that I got during my lunch break.

Lord Garmadon: … Becky-

General fourteen: That's not m-

Lord Garmadon: DON'T INTERRUPT ME!

General fourteen: S-sorry.

Lord Garmadon: Becky, where did you get that drink?

General fourteen: From Starbucks, sir.

Lord Garmadon: Becky, did you get me anything from Starbucks?

General fourteen: Well-

Lord Garmadon: BECKY, DID YOU GET ME ANYTHING FROM STARBUCKS!?

General fourteen: No sir...

Lord Garmadon: … *pushes a button that launches General fourteen far away* AND COME BACK WITH A DRINK FOR ME! Great, now I'm in a bad mood because of Becky. General number one, give me a idea that can make me feel better.

General one: You can take over Ninjago City.

Lord Garmadon: Perfect! I came up with it first! So let's go do that!

* * *

 **Meanwhile at the other universe in Ninjago City.**

Movie Lloyd: *looks around*

Jay: Is everything alright?

Movie Lloyd: It's just that why are people here so calm?

Nya: What do you mean?

Movie Lloyd: Everyone hates me in my universe, but here no one cares that I'm Lord Garmadon's son?

Kai: Well- I agree with you. Why didn't everyone hate Lloyd when Garmadon was Lord Garmadon?

Movie Lloyd: What?

Zane: We'll explain later.

Movie Lloyd: Don't we have to go to school?

Nya: School? We don't go to school. We're ninja.

Movie Lloyd: Oh. Well that's a relief.

Dareth: Hey guys- Woah, why does the green ninja have green eyes?

Movie Lloyd: *knocks out Dareth*

Cole: Ha. I've been waiting a long time for someone to do that.

Jay: WHAT THE FUCK OTHER LLOYD!?

Movie Lloyd: HE KNOWS I'M THE GREEN NINJA!

Kai: Everyone knows we're the the ninja!

Movie Lloyd: WHY DID YOU REVEAL YOUR IDENTITIES TO EVERYONE!?

Dareth: *wakes up* What was th- *gets knock out again by Cole*

Cole: Ha. Never gets old.

* * *

 **Meanwhile Ninjago movie after school at the Destiny Bounty.**

Movie Wu: Ah. This is nice. It's just my tea, relaxing music, and I.

Movie Kai: *kicks the door down* SENSEI, HOLY FUCK! YOU GOTTA SEE SOMETHING!

Movie Wu: *sigh* Fine.

Sensei Wu is drag into the dojo and his eyes widen from what he's seeing. Lloyd's doing spinjitzu while the rest of the ninja are as surprise as he is.

Movie Zane: Gasp.

Movie Jay: Dude, you have to teach me how you did it.

Movie Nya: I will pay you good money for you to teach me.

Movie Wu: Lloyd, how can you do that?

Lloyd: It's called spinjitzu, and it's kinda simple. I know other things like this? *summon his dragon*

Movie Zane: Omg.

Movie Kai: HOW THE FUCK IS THIS POSSIBLE!?

Movie Jay: AAAAAHH!

Movie Cole: Cool.

Movie Nya: Guys, Lord Garmadon's attacking Ninjago City!

Movie Kai: Quickly. *jumps out of a window*

Movie Nya: He does that sometimes, Other Lloyd.

* * *

 **Three days later at the other universe's Destiny's Bounty**

Movie Lloyd: I always wonder how hell does this ship fly, even tho we have one at my universe.

Zane: So how are you feeling today?

Movie Lloyd: I'm actually feeling great. Really happy to be honest.

Zane: Well I'm glad you're feeling alright.

Movie Lloyd: You're really different from my Zane.

Zane: What's he like?

Movie Lloyd: He's… Random.

Zane: I'm strange over there, am I?

Movie Lloyd: Yeah, but in a good way.

Nya: It's been three day, so when do you think the portal will open?

Cole: I don't- Where's the Other Lloyd?

Zane: Oh dear.

 **30 minutes later after search for Movie Lloyd, the ninja found him in a closet**

Jay: Lloyd, can you please come out.

Movie Lloyd: NO!

Zane: I don't understand why he's trap himself in the closet.

Cole: I didn't even know we have a closet.

Kai: Lloyd, can we talk about why the hell are you in a closet?

Movie Lloyd: Sure.

Cole: Oh come on! He'll only talking to Kai, but not us! Now I feel like this is being forced.

Nya: Shut up and let my ship happen!

Kai: So explain why you trap yourself in a closet?

Movie Lloyd: I don't want to go back. Everyone here doesn't care I'm Lord Garmadon's son. I hate my universe, and I like it here more than there.

Kai: Lloyd, are we in that universe?

Movie Lloyd: Yeah.

Kai: Are they your friends?

Movie Lloyd: Yeah.

Kai: Are we the same as them?

Movie Lloyd: Yeah. Well except for Zane, and a little bit of Nya and Cole.

Kai: Look, I know it's hard for you. You gotta stay strong. You have us over there being your friends. They miss you, since you've been gone. I promise you that things will get better.

Movie Lloyd: How do you know that?

Kai: I know things will work out good. I promise.

Movie Lloyd: *sighs* Fine. *get out of the closet* Let's do this.

Nya: *hugs Movie Lloyd* We'll miss you.

Everyone: *get in a group hug*

Movie Lloyd: I'll miss you too.

* * *

 **At the Ninjago movie universe.**

Lloyd: *looks up and sees the portal opening* Well it looks like our adventure is over. It was fun stopping Other Lloyd's annoying dad, getting hated on, getting to know you guys, and doing homework. I was joking at the last part. I hated doing that.

Movie Kai: It was nice knowing you, Lloyd.

Movie Nya: I hope we can see each other soon.

Movie Cole: *gives Lloyd a thumbs up*

Movie Zane: Farewell, my good friend.

Movie Jay: Lloyd, before you go. I have a question.

Lloyd: Go on.

Movie Jay: *whispers* Is the Other Jay with Other Nya?

Lloyd: *smiles* Yup, and maybe you'll end up with Nya too.

Movie Jay: YES!

Movie Nya: What are you guys talking about?

Movie Jay: N-nothing.

Lloyd: See ya. *floats away to the portal*

Movie Kai: So now what?

Movie Zane: Let's hope for the best for him.

Movie Cole: *takes off his headphones, gets down on one knee in front of Zane, and pulls out a ring* Marry me.

Movie Kai: That felt like it was forced.

Movie Lloyd: *falls out of the portal and lands on his face* Ow.

Movie Kai: Hey Bro. Long time no seen.

* * *

 **Meanwhile in a room**

Sensei Wu: So you're the one I switch places with years ago?

Movie Wu: It seems like it.

Sensei Wu: If you're myself from another universe, you must like something that every Wu has to like. Do you like tea?

Movie Wu: I don't like tea. I'm a fanboy for it.

Sensei Wu: You pass.

* * *

 **Meanwhile again in the other universe**

Jay: Guys, I just made a Universe gun.

Nya: What that?

Jay: It's like the portal gun, except you can travel to different universes instead of dimensions. So we can go visit Other Lloyd and his friend whenever we want

Cole: That depends on if the author gets more ideas for us to do with the Universe gun. It might take awhile tho.

Jay: Okay.

* * *

 **Is it good, bad, okay, or it's the worst story you ever seen? Well I hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day**


	15. Chapter 15

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy and happy Halloween.**

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Kai: *dressed up as a ghost and knocks on the door* Trick or treat.

Sensei Wu: *opens the door* Cool, a scary ghost.

Zane: *knocks out Kai with a shovel* It's the devil, Sensei.

Sensei Wu: It was just Kai dress up as a ghost.

Zane: Oh. *knocks out Kai again with the shovel*

* * *

 **During season five**

Morro: *steals Nya's purse*

Nya: He stole my purse!

Cole: Don't worry. I'll save you.

Nya: Damn you people.

Cole: What do you mean "You people!?"

Morro: What do you mean "You people!?"

Cole: *grab's Nya's purse and runs off* As a matter of fact. Got your purse, bitch!

* * *

 **Movie au**

Sensei Wu: Why did he killed that guy?

Lloyd: Can we just watch the movie?

Sensei Wu: Is that Channing Tatum?

Lloyd: No, it's Morgan Freeman.

Sensei Wu: Are you sure?

* * *

Nya: What are you doing?

Ronin: I'm not stealing money.

Nya: Don't lie to me.

Ronin: I am stealing money.

Nya: That was easy.

* * *

 **Movie Au**

Young Lloyd: *hanging off a tall tree* I'm scare dad.

Lord Garmadon: *holds out his arms* Do you trust me son?

Young Lloyd: Yes.

Lord Garmadon: Come on, son.

Young Lloyd: *let's go of the branch*

Lord Garmadon: *walks off* Rule number one, never trust anybody.

Young Lloyd: *hits the ground*

* * *

Kai: *can't get Wifi on his phone* Could not send- Sensei, what the fuck is up with the Wifi? We have this big temple and you couldn't afford a Wifi box out here.

Sensei Wu: It's not about affording. It's about… Radiation.

Kai: You're gonna die anyway. You understand that, right? Died with a good Snapchat going through. What the fuck.

* * *

Garmadon: Listen kid, you got to expect the unexpected.

Morro: *slaps Garmadon* You expect that, bitch?

* * *

 **After season three**

Jay: Did you hang out with Cole last night?

Nya: Yeah, I did.

Jay: I love Cole.

Lloyd: You hate Cole.

Jay: YEAH, NO SHIT LLOYD!

* * *

 **Movie au**

Kai: Yo, let's go.

Zane: I'll call shotgun. *calls shotgun* Hey, I was wondering if I can sit in the front seat.

Shotgun: Sure son.

Zane: Thanks.

* * *

Sensei Wu: Then The First Spinjitzu Master said "You fool," and fire the kamehameha. Destroying the Overlord.

* * *

 **Kai's babysitting job**

Kai: So where is the little guy.

Misako: Little? No, you're watching my son.

Lloyd: Sup.

Kai: He's like twenty years old. What the-

Lloyd: HEY! I'm only nineteen! Get it right.

* * *

 **During season 6**

Jay: What kind of spider is it?

Cole: I think it's a Daddy Long Leg.

Jay: It might be a good looking spider, but I wouldn't say it's daddy.

Cole: ... Wait, what?

* * *

 **Movie au**

Teacher: Class, what makes you read this book every night? What's intriguing?

Kai: You make us read it every night. You assigned it every night as homework and we hate it.

Zane: Yeah, it's dumb and stupid.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lloyd: Vegetable oil is made out of vegetables. Coconut oil is made out of coconut's. So baby oil-

Koko: Can't we just have a nice family dinner for once!?

* * *

Maya: Don't you think my friend's pretty?

Ray: Yeah, I think your friend's hot- Um, she's not hot. She- *runs off*

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lloyd: Kids don't have toys like we had when we- *sees a lightsaber* Were growing up.

 **Later**

Lloyd: *opens the door to his apartment holding the lightsaber* I'm a Jedi again, mom!

Koko: NO!

Lloyd: *hits a vase with the lightsaber*

* * *

Cole: *drops a glass cup*

Lou: Your mom is going to furious. Look what you did.

Cole: Dad, mom's not here.

Lou: Look what you did.

Cole: Mom's gone.

Lou: *tries not to cry* Look what you did to this family.

* * *

 **Meanwhile on a boat during season six**

Jay: Make sure to check under your seats

Cole: *pulls out life jackets under his seat* Why are there life jackets?

Jay: The boat is sinking.

* * *

Kai: Are you sure that's gonna work?

Cole: Yeah.

 **Later with Kai and Skylor**

Kai: Estoy no muy hábil en cama.

Skylor: *starts laughing*

Kai: What the fuck, Cole!?

* * *

Jay: Dude, Cole's not just my boyfriend. He's my best friend.

Kai: OMG!

Nya: Seriously!?

* * *

Lloyd: I'm leaving.

Morro: Babe, please don't go. I love you. I can't live without you.

Lloyd: Then die.

* * *

Skylor: Dad, this is Kai.

Kai: Nice to meet you, Mr Chen.

Master Chen: Please call me daddy

Kai: No.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lloyd: The only thing that you're saying is that you're gay.

Kai: I'm not gay. You're gay!

Lloyd: Yeah. So?

Kai: Wait, what?

Lloyd: I'm gay, dude.

Nya: He's definitely gay.

Cole: Yeah, he's gay.

Jay: We had a assembly about it.

* * *

Cole: You wanna get-

Zane and Cole: Taco Bell. Jinx, you owe me a-

Zane: Kiss on the lips

Cole: *tries to get out of the car but Zane locks it*

Zane: You're not going anywhere, Cole.

Cole: NO!

* * *

Sensei Wu: Nice work.

Morro: Thanks dad.

Everyone: …

Morro: Why's everyone staring at me?

Lloyd: You just called Sensei "dad". You said "Thanks dad."

Morro: What?! No I didn't. I said "Thanks man."

Sensei Wu: Do you see me as a father figure, Morro?

Morro: No. If anything, I see you as a bother figure, because you're always bothering me.

Jay: *tries not to laugh* Hey! Show your father some respect.

Morro: I didn't call him dad!

Sensei Wu: No, no, no, Morro. I take it as a compliment.

* * *

 **Movie Au during detention**

Cole: What did you guys do to get in here?

Nya: I skip school.

Kai: Pulled the fire alarm.

Jay: Just trying to make new friends.

Cole: What about you?

Zane: I'm the one responsible for the school shooting.

Cole: YOU DID WHAT!?

Nya: OMG!

Kai: What the hell!

Cole: And you only got detention!?

Nya: How are you not in jail right now!?

Kai: What's wrong with you!?

Jay: Omg.

Zane: *holds up a bag of Doritos* Doritos?

Everyone: DORITOS!

* * *

Sensei Wu: Okay students, Talent Show time.

Kai: Yeah! First let me hop out the porsche-

Sensei Wu: NOOOO!

* * *

Morro: I'm gonna touch this hot stove.

Lloyd: Don't do it.

Morro: You can't stop me.

Lloyd: Okay Morro. Do it.

Morro: … It's not fun anymore. YOU RUINED IT!

* * *

Cole: *holds up a Pokemon card* I'll destroy you with a Charmander.

Zane: *pulls out a Pokemon card* But I got a Squirtle.

Cole: SHIT!

* * *

 **Movie au**

Koko: Oh, I forgot the eggs. *runs off*

Lloyd: Wait, mom. No!

Cashier: Next in line.

Lloyd: My mom just went-

Cashier: I said "Next in line!"

Lloyd: I can't pay for this!

* * *

Cole: The Real Housewives of Space.

 **Meanwhile in Space**

Pixal: Fuck you, Nya.

Nya: Bitch, wait until I float over there. I will fuck you up.

* * *

Young Jay: I'm in my mum's car. Broom broom.

Edna: Get out my car.

Young Jay: Aw.

* * *

Sensei Wu: What is going on in here?!

Everyone: ...

Zane: Breakfast!

* * *

Misako: What are you going to do in your life!?

Lloyd: NO! What do you want to do with your life?

Misako: ... Be a dancer.

 **Later**

Misako: *dances off*

Cole: Go and chase your dreams!

* * *

Jay: Hey, you're not short. You're fun size, right?

Min-Droid: I'm about to punch you in the balls. I am literally the perfect height.

* * *

Sensei Wu: *hold up a book* The book of Spinjitzu.

Lloyd: It says Spitjitzu.

Sensei Wu: YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER!?

* * *

Kai: *open's the door to Lloyd's room*

Young Lloyd: *dancing around* I'm summoning the God of Death so he can kill you.

Kai: *closes the door*

* * *

 **Ray as a teacher**

Ray: Alright, who's happy to be back?

Cole: Absolutely no one.

Ray: Me too. Let's get the heck out of here.

 **Later Ray's students are in his car**

Jay: Go, go, go!

Ray: *starts his car* I'm going!

Nya: *chases after the car* Wait!

* * *

Lloyd: When are you planning on moving out?

Kai: When are you planning on coming out?

Lloyd: Okay. *leaves*

Kai: You see what I did there?

Lloyd: Yeah.

Kai: It's because you're gay.

Lloyd: I GOT IT!

* * *

 **Movie au**

Cole: Honestly, I really like g-

Zane: …

Cole: Geysers. One of natures beauties.

Zane: Oh.

Cole: And I really like dudes.

Zane: *eyes widen*

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lloyd: Let me know if I ever text you too much.

Nya: We've been friends for two years.

 **Later**

Lloyd: Just let me know if you need me to go.

Kai: We've been married for four years.

 **Later**

Lloyd: Let me know if I ever bother you too much.

Lord Garmadon: I'm your dad, but okay I will.

* * *

Kai: Lloyd, why are you single?

Lloyd: I really want to work on myself before I'm messing with someone else.

Kai: Nice. What about you, Cole?

Cole: Nobody wants to date me.

* * *

Morro: So I get a little heated sometimes.

Jay: You shot the manikin a hundred and seven times in the head!

Morro: I'll shoot you in the head if you don't shut up!

* * *

First Spinjitzu Master: *sees Garmadon running* Garmadon, show me what you have?

Young Garmadon: A knife. *runs off*

First Spinjitzu Master: NOOOO! *chases after him*

* * *

Maya: What are you doing lying around? Did you do the yard work?

Kai: Yeah.

Maya: Did you scrub the toilet?

Kai: Yes.

Maya: Did you get a job?

Kai: Yeah.

Maya: Did you give me grandchildren?

Kai: No.

Maya: Then get to it!

Kai: Alright, alright. *runs off*

* * *

Kai: *picks up his phone* Hello.

Jay: I miss you.

Kai: I see you everyday.

Jay: I know, but still.

Kai: You literally called a minute ago.

Jay: I know, but still.

Kai: We're in the same room.

Jay: I know, but still.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lloyd: I'm so lazy.

Nya: Don't you dare.

 **Later**

Lloyd: I can't do anything right.

Cole: Shut up!

 **Later**

Lloyd: I'm just not good enough.

Kai: I WILL PUNCH YOU WITH FRIENDSHIP!

Lloyd: AAAAHH! *runs off*

* * *

Dr Julien: Back away, I'm a doctor. *sneezes*

Cole: *still unconscious*

Dr Julien: Didn't say bless you. What the fuck? That's a dead body right there.

* * *

Lou: Hey son, I see you're watching one of your Rule 34 videos.

Cole: This is a Let's Play.

Lou: Then what the heck is Rule 34?

After one Google search

Lou: Oh.

* * *

Ray: Nya, there's nothing under your bed. You got nothing to be afraid- *looks under the bed* Something moved!

Later

Young Kai: Dad, would you say "Good night" to me?

Ray: *standing on Nya's bed with Nya* Go save yourself!

* * *

Young Cole: Dad, can we go get ice cream?

Lou: Sorry, Cole. We can't.

Young Cole: Okay, I guess I'll tell mom that you're cheating on her.

Lou: Ice cream sounds great.

* * *

Young Garmadon: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be I'll be pushed less.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Kai: He doesn't deserve you. If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Lloyd: I'm gone.

Kai: Now go chop off his-

 **We now have a different vine to put on. It's still in the Movie au**

Zane: Dude, it smells like up dog in here.

Jay: Wait, what's up dog?

Zane: ... That. *points to a dog on the ceiling*


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to Lego and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy.**

Sensei Wu: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Morro: But you didn't.

* * *

Lou: Is this peanut free? My son has an allergy.

Ronin: That peanut is not free. That'll be a dollar.

Lou: *gives Ronin a dollar* You're lucky I hate my son so much.

* * *

Zane: Do you think it's a good idea to drive in your condition?

Cole: *drunk* Fuck you.

Cole drives his car off the street and hits an old lady.

* * *

Nya: I'll be right back. *walks away*

Jay: Alright.

Kai: Hey you.

Jay turns around and sees Kai and Ray standing in front of him.

Kai: Yeah you.

Ray: You break her heart, we'll break your bones.

Nya: I'm back.

Jay: AH!

* * *

Young Lloyd: Zane, can I jump off the big kid diving board?

Zane: No.

Young Lloyd: Why?

Zane: Because it's dangerous.

Young Lloyd: But I want to.

Kai: Okay, break your neck and drown. I don't give a shit.

* * *

Cole: So how was the pasta?

Nya: It was great. Say my compliments to the chef.

Cole: Alright.

 **Later**

Cole: Hey chef.

Zane: Yes.

Cole: You have beautiful eyes.

* * *

Young Cole: Dad, it's a shooting star. Omg.

Lou: Son, you think it's aliens?

Young Cole: No. I hope it's a new dad that's not a complete fuck up.

Lou: Well damn.

* * *

Harumi: Nya is so annoying.

Nya: *appears out of nowhere* I heard you were talking shit about me.

Harumi: What the fuck!?

* * *

Ronin: Dareth, didn't invite Ronin to the tea party!

Meanwhile with Dareth at his tea party

Dareth: *talking to his stuff animals* Would you guys like some more tea?

Ronin: FUCK YOUR TEA! *flips the table over*

Dareth: *starts crying*

* * *

Morro: *dresses up as a Jedi*

Brad: Ha! You're such a loser.

Morro: STOP MAKING FUN OF ME! *uses the force on Brad and sends him flying away*

Nelson: …

* * *

Cole: *walks towards Baby Wu*

Baby Wu: Daddy?

Cole: … Do I look like your dad!?

* * *

Morro: *runs into a door*

Jay: Who's there?

Morro: No one. Fuck off!

* * *

Young Cole: Hey dad.

Lou: Yes son.

Young Cole: Can we go to Disneyland **this summer**?

Lou: Oh shit. What the fuck?

Young Cole: **One man's journey.**

Lou: Alright. We can go.

* * *

Kai: *starts crying* Skylor broke up with me.

Zane: Why?

Kai: She said "my face is weird".

Zane: Kai, your face is perfect

Kai: I love you, Zane.

Zane: No homo.

* * *

Lloyd: Please First Spinjitzu Master, just let me have one good day.

First Spinjitzu Master: OMG. You again? Give it a rest, buddy.

* * *

Cole: Go tell her.

Jay: *walks over to Nya*

Nya: I really like your friend.

Jay: … *looks over at Cole*

Cole: *waves at Jay*

Jay: *tackles Cole* COLE!

* * *

Wu: Why do you like Halloween so much?

Young Morro: It's always Halloween in my soul.

* * *

Cole: You better start telling the truth.

Luke Cunningham: Is the light supposed to scare me?

Zane: *turns the lights on*

Luke Cunningham: Harumi's the Quiet One! What?

* * *

 **Movie au**

Chen: Hey Lloyd. You're no good, Lloyd!

Cheerleader: You'll never be shit!

Chen: You're just like your father!

Lloyd: ...

* * *

Nya: Harumi, truth or dare?

Harumi: Truth.

Nya: Are you the Quiet One?

Harumi: … What?

Nya: Answer the question, Harumi.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Sensei Wu: Are you studying for your finals?

Lloyd: *inserts Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time into his Nintendo 64*

Sensei Wu: Lloyd.

Lloyd: *turns the console on*

Sensei Wu: Stop it.

Lloyd: *starts the game*

Sensei Wu: Are you kidding me?

Lloyd: *starts playing*

* * *

Lloyd: Ha! It's like we finish each other's-

Harumi: LORD GARMADON WILL RISE!

* * *

Zane: I can't stand people always talking about their girl. I like low key stuff.

Later

Zane: *holding Pixal's hand* HEY, EVERYONE, LOOK AT PIXAL! SHE'S SO CUTE! SHE HAS A FACE AND OPINIONS!

* * *

 **And now an ad**

Lloyd: I eat Cheerios because they're heart healthy and my heart has been severely damaged... So Harumi if you're out there-

* * *

Harumi: You should vote for me because I'm nice to everyone.

Cole: Didn't you resurrect Garmadon and killed the Emperor and Empress?

Harumi: …

* * *

Ronin: Look at the buns on that guy.

Dareth: *covered in hamburger buns*

Police Commissioner: This is the comedy police. The joke's too funny.

Ronin: *pulls out a gun* I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL!

* * *

 **Movie au**

Jay: *at a restaurant* Here it is. Pinches Tacos.

Cole: Yes! You know what that means, right?

Nya and Jay: Little pinches of flavor?

Cole: Fucking tacos.

Nya: Huh?

Cole: Yeah.

* * *

Clouse: Well if it isn't Garmadon.

Garmadon: But it is me.

Clouse: No. It's an expression.

Garmadon: Your butler tricks won't work on me.

* * *

 **Nya's reporter job**

Nya: Where's the best place to get fireworks?

Brad: Why would you want to know, Weather Girl?

Nya: … Where are your parents?

* * *

 **A song from Lloyd**

Lloyd: This next song I wrote for my Ex-girlfriend. *starts playing the guitar* BITCH! *stops playing* Thank you.

* * *

 **I want to announce that I'm making a story. It's going to be a parody of season 8. Here's a previous of it. Just a heads up that all of the characters in the parody are going to act out of character. I hope you like it.**

Lloyd enters a room where he told his friends to meet him. As he suspected, his friends are there waiting for him.

Lloyd: Sorry I'm late, guys.

Kai: Hey Lloyd. Long time no see, bro.

Zane: It's nice to see you, Lloyd.

Lloyd: I'm glad you're all here. It's been a while since we've seen each other in the same room.

Nya: Yup. So Lloyd, do you finally have a boyfriend?

Lloyd: Are you serious, Nya? I told you hundreds of times before that I'm not gay and you still believe it.

Jay: You don't have to keep hiding it, Lloyd. Ninjago already respects your interest in guys.

Lloyd: *sighs* Anyways, the reason why I called you all here is because of this. *shows his friends the Sons of Garmadon logo on his phone* Seventy-two hours ago, the Sons of Garmadon stole a mask from Cyrus Borg.

Cole: So? It's just a mask. I don't see why we have to worry about it.

Hutchins: *enters the room* It's not just an ordinary mask. It's the Oni mask.

Kai: Who the fuck are you?

Hutchins: There are three of them out there.

Kai: Hello? Are you going to answer my question?

Hutchins: If someone unites the masks, they'll possess great power.

Kai: Hey! Answer my question! Who the fuck are you?!

Lloyd: Kai, don't talk to him like that! That's Hutchins, the council of the royal family.

Zane: You never said anything about him coming here.

Jay: Wait, we have royalty in Ninjago? I thought we live in a democracy?

Nya: How do you not know about the Emperor?

Jay: I never heard anything about them. I assumed we had a president.

Hutchins: That's because they keep their lives private and have the Mask of Deception. The emperor will give a public speech tomorrow. I fear the Sons of Garmadon may try to steal the mask. I would appreciate it if you keep a lookout for anything suspicious.

Lloyd: Don't worry. We'll make sure nothing goes wrong. Isn't that right, guys?

Cole: I'm actually busy tomorrow. So-

Lloyd: We'll be there.

 **Do you like it, hate, or don't care. I would love to know your thoughts on this. Have a wonderful day.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I own nothing. Ninjago belongs to LEGO and the vines belong to their owners. Please enjoy and Happy Halloween :D**

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lord Garmadon: This is the popular kid's table. You can't sit here.

Lloyd: What the heck, Dad!?

* * *

Tox: I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag.

Chamille: You spilled- Wh- Wha- Lipstick in my Valentino white bag!

* * *

Sensei Wu: Okay, have you ever committed a felony?

Kai: Does being too cool count?

Sensei Wu: *crushes Kai's resume paper and tosses it to the trash can*

* * *

 **During season 5**

Morro: BOO!

Nya: Did you just call me 'your boo?'

Morro: What? No. I didn't mean it like that.

Nya: I have a boyfriend!

* * *

Zane enters his room and sees Jay's corpse on the floor. There's blood on the wall written 'Your next.'

Zane: *gasps* This is so wrong! *changes Your to You're* There.

* * *

Harumi: *points a gun at Lloyd* I've been waiting many years for this moment. To look you in the eye and-

Lloyd: *takes the gun and points it at Harumi*

Harumi: … Oh shit.

* * *

Kai: So many girls like me. It's like really annoying.

Cole: *gives Kai a death glare* ...

* * *

Lou: *enters Cole's room* Hey kiddo.

Cole: Get out of my room, motherfucker.

Lou: Yup. I am a motherfucker.

Cole: I hate you so much.

* * *

Jay: *crawling away from Morro with a broken leg* AAAAAHHHH!

Kai: Y'all shut the fuck up! I got work in the morning! *walks away*

Jay: Aaaahhh.

* * *

 **Outside**

Cole: *eating a piece of cake*

Nya: Oh my god. Are you eating cake again? Don't you know how addicting those are? Wait! Where's my phone? *looks in her pockets and sees nothing* Where's my phone?! I need Snapchat! *climbs over a fence* WHERE'S MY PHONE!

* * *

Lloyd: Single bells.

Cole: Single bells.

Lloyd: Single all the way.

Cole: It's not that fun.

Lloyd: It's really dumb.

Cole: I'll probably just go gay.

Lloyd: What the fuck!?

* * *

Zane: It's so hot here.

Kai: *smirks* Sorry.

Zane: … *beats up Kai*

* * *

Harumi: Why didn't you come last night? It was so fun.

Nya: **HARUMI, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY I DIDN'T COME. SO SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU SHADY BITCH!**

* * *

Morro: I'm you from the future

Young Morro: Yeah. Obviously, bitch!

Morro: I don't re- I don't remember acting like that.

* * *

Lloyd: *sees blood on his shirt and looks up*

Sensei Wu: *laying on top of the roof holding a red popsicle* My popsicle is melting.

Lloyd: Dang it, Uncle!

Sensei Wu: I can't get up.

* * *

Jay: I'm telling you, mom. I'm a thug. A rebellious child. My life be like, 'oh ah.' *runs into a door* Ow!

* * *

Jay: *sees Kai on fire* Oh my god! *shakes Zane* Please wake up! Kai's on fire!

Nya: *runs with a bucket of water and hands it to Jay*

Jay: Thanks! *throws the water at Zane* ZANE, WAKE UP! KAI'S ON FIRE!

* * *

Tox: *on the phone with Chamille* Wait, what? You're not coming to my tea party? CHAMILLE, I MADE BISCUITS!

* * *

Zane: Lloyd, your line is 'I eat Cheerios because they're heart healthy.'

Lloyd: Yeah. I eat Cheerios because they're heart healthy. Harumi, if you're out there, I'm going to get-

Zane: No no no!

* * *

Kai: *holds up one of Nya's shirts* Sweetie, this has got to go.

Nya: But that's my favorite shirt.

Kai: It's got to go.

Nya: Do we really have to get rid of it?

Kai: We're going to set it on fire.

* * *

Morro: *on the phone with the ninja* Ten grand and we'll give him back.

Lloyd: You think I'm only worth ten grand!?

Morro: What?

Lloyd: Give me that! *grabs the phone* Make it fifty!

* * *

Violet: Hey Cole, your mom still dead?

Cole: *sighs* Yeah.

Killow: Is your dog dead too?

Violet: You fucking loser. *throws a basketball at Cole*

Cole: *gets hit by it*

* * *

 **Movie Au**

 _/Lord Garmadon: Are you home alone?/_

Lloyd: No. My friend Kai is here.

 _/Lord Garmadon: What did I tell you about having people come over!?/_

Lloyd: Dad, stop!

 _/Lord Garmadon: Okay. Sorry, Lloyd. Sorry./_

* * *

 **During season 8**

Harumi: Hey I got the grocery list. *gives the list to Zane*

Zane: Why do you need duct tape, chloroform, and a knife for?

Harumi: You'll find out.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Cole: *enters a car* Sorry, I'm late.

Lou: *holds up Cole's ninja suit* What the fuck is this? *throws it at him*

Cole: *catches it* I didn't know how to tell you.

Lou: Give me that! *grabs it* This is why you've been skipping dance?!

* * *

Jay: Who do you think is prettier? Me or Nya.

Cole: Well no matter what I say, I'm going to be wrong.

Jay: Just say it.

Cole: You.

Jay: You don't really mean that.

Cole God dammit.

* * *

Lloyd: Hulk would murder Superman.

Morro: Hulk is a little bitch.

Lloyd: … *throws a cup at Morro*

Morro: *throws a table and attacks Lloyd* FUCK YOU!

Lloyd: AAAAHHHH!

* * *

Chamille: Paper instead of plastic.

Dr. Julien: Madam, we only have plastic surgery.

Chamille: This hospital isn't very eco-friendly!

* * *

 **During season 9**

Teen Wu: *starts recording on his phone* Alright Faith, do it for the vine.

Faith: Do it for the vine? More like do it for Mother Russia!

* * *

Nya: *smiles* Keep drinking, Harumi. Don't be boring. God… *frowns* I want her to fucking pass out so someone finally notices me.

* * *

Zane: I said 'you need to start contributing more to this household!' When's the last time you ever did the dishes?!

Jay: ...

Zane: You don't even pay taxes!

* * *

 **During season 8**

Lloyd: All women are queens. *pulls out his sword*

Nya: *pulls out her sword* If she breathes, SHE'S A THOT!

Lloyd and Nya: *start fighting each other*

* * *

Lloyd: Hey dad, this probably going to come as a shock to you, but I'm gay.

Garmadon: *pours coffee into his cup* That's not a shock.

* * *

Jay: *holding a bowl of nuts* I'm nuts about these nuts, but I'm also nuts about my close good friends.

Everyone: *hugs Jay*

 **Jay: My close good friends.**

* * *

 **Cole as a waiter**

Cole: The specials for today are baked ziti and me.

Customer: ...

Cole: Some soup. Some good old meat.

* * *

 **During season 9**

Harumi: Disgusted. I am revolted. I dedicated my entire life to my lord and savior Lord Garmadon and this is the thanks I get. *gets inside a washing machine*

* * *

First Spinjitzu Master: Why can't you be more like your brother!?

Garmadon: I hate you, dad! *tries not to cry*

Ray: I'm just gonna go-

Garmadon: You're not leaving!

First Spinjitzu Master: You are staying for dinner!

* * *

Lloyd: You cheated on me with Morro! I never want to see you again!

Harumi: Babe, how about I buy you a box of Cheerios.

Lloyd: *smiles* Okay. I love you.

* * *

Ray: Are you ever carrying something, but your arms are too weak?

Lord Garmadon: *carrying Baby Lloyd but throws him to the ground* Not again.

* * *

Kai: Last one out is a stupid idiot!

Nya: Kai, we're all outside. Waiting for you.

Kai: Now I'm the idiot. *starts crying*

Cole: *hugs Kai* No you're not.

* * *

Cole: I'm manly. I'll hug a guy. I don't even care.

Jay: Well I'm manlier. I'll kiss a guy!

Cole: *gives Jay a ring* Well I'll marry a guy.

Jay: *smiles* Bro!

* * *

Young Lloyd: Mom, I think there's a ghost in my room

Misako: Sweetie, there's nothing in your room.

Morro: So I'm nothing now!?

Misako: Oh my First Spinjitzu Master!?

Morro: Oh my First Spinjitzu Master?!

* * *

Maya: *grabs a card* The card says to describe yourself with an object in the room.

Nya: *grabs a Prego sauce* ...

Maya: You're red.

Nya: No mom.

Maya: You're salsy.

Nya: I'm pregnant, mom!

* * *

 **After Trick-or-treating**

Young Lloyd: Zane, look at all of my candy.

Zane: Remember Lloyd, we have to check it first.

Young Lloyd: Why?

Zane: Just to be safe.

Young Lloyd: No, I'm going to eat it now.

Kai: Choke on a fucking razor blade. Happy Halloween.

* * *

 **Movie au**

Lord Garmadon: *reads the directions to the baby food* Shake well before feeding. Okay? *starts shaking Baby Lloyd*

* * *

 **At Starbucks**

Chamille: *drinking a frappuccino* Oh my god. Yummy Starbucks.

Tox: With my bitches.

Nya: Where's Skylor?

Skylor: *left five minutes ago*

Chamille: Skylor.

Tox: Sky!

Nya: SKYLOR!

Everyone: *starts panicking*

* * *

Young Morro: Wu, can we stop at Mcdonalds?

Sensei Wu: Morro, I'm making dinner at home.

Young Morro: *starts crying* I hate this fucking family.

* * *

Young Cole: Hey dad.

Lou: What are you supposed to be for Halloween?

Young Cole: What? No. I'm not dressed up. I'm your son.

Lou: I love your costume.

Young Cole: Dad, what?

Lou: Bye. *walks away*

* * *

Nya: *throws a ball*

Kai: *gets hit by it* Ow!

Nya: Oh no!

Kai: You better run!

Nya: *runs but Kai grabs her*

Kai: AAAAHHH! *throws her off the Destiny's Bounty*

* * *

Jay: *enters Wu's room* Hey Wu, your brother's here.

Teen Wu: Fuck my brother!

Jay: I- I'm sorry, Wu. *leaves*

* * *

Lou: Hey son, you heard of the new Bieber song? Ah oh, watch out. Coming in for it. Watch out. *starts dancing to the music*

Cole: *sees his dad dancing towards him* What the fuck are you doing?! Get away from me! What the fuck.

* * *

Kai: *holds up Nya's Halloween costume* Yo, what the fuck is this?

Nya: My Halloween costume.

Kai: Oh really? Hold on. *walks away*

 **Later**

Kai: *wearing Nya's costume* You was about to go out lookin' like this!? Hell no!

* * *

 **During season 5**

Morro: *holding up the realm crystal* Haha!

Lloyd: Come on. Give it back!

Morro: First you got to say my name.

Lloyd: Alright, Big Daddy. Now give it ba- *realizes he didn't say Morro's name*

Morro: *drops the realm crystal* ... My name is Morro.

* * *

Zane: *sliding down a stairs railing while smiling* You're all going to hell. *waves* Bye.

Kai: *tries not to laugh*

* * *

Lloyd: Hi, can I help you.

Harumi: No. *walks away*


End file.
